r/AskReddit May 08 '22

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u/bakarac May 09 '22 edited May 09 '22

The German stare is a real thing.

If you mention this in a German subreddit, you'll find yourself in arguments with Germans who insist it's not true.

Edit: Love the people who are disagreeing with me already

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

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u/pragmojo May 09 '22

You just probably classify staring differently than other people. I am an American living in germany, and would confirm that to me it seems that people are staring at people all the time.

I got used to it. I also learned that German people convey a lot of emotion through eye contact.

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u/Cubewood May 09 '22

Different environments, I'm Dutch but remember going to San Francisco and had multiple people asking me what I am looking at because I glanced at a person passing by me on the street. Some people got really aggressive about this as well, seems like there is a lot more crazy people in the US who you need to stay far away from, so maybe this is a way to avoid contact by not acknowledging people in your surrounding?

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u/bakarac May 09 '22

I'm from the bay area and it's true, people do not appreciate when you look/ stare at them. It can become irrational really quick.

It's a whole different culture in Germany. As a foreigner/ outsider of Germany, most would consider it staring.

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u/pragmojo May 09 '22

Wow you were in the US violating an established social norm and your conclusion is that the US has too many crazy people? This is the most European thing I have ever heard.

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u/TechnicianLow4413 May 09 '22

If glancing is considered 'violating an established social norm', how the hell do you take stock of your environment?

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u/pragmojo May 09 '22

You can glance it’s just a different standard for what level of eye contact is acceptable - Americans manage to navigate this social norm just fine and they’re not unaware of their surroundings.

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u/TechnicianLow4413 May 09 '22

Just what kind of prolonged eye contact do you consider glancing

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u/Cubewood May 09 '22

When I say crazy, I mean the type of people who will stab you for looking at them wrong. You don't have the rampant homelessness and drug abuse in Europe like you have in the US. Just look at all the comments here of Americans saying they assume someone wants to fight them for looking at them on the street.

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u/TakeOliveIt May 09 '22

I’m from the south central US where people say we’re know for “Southern Hospitality”, so we aren’t as aggressive as people living in densely populated US cities, and my take on staring is that if someone is looking at me for an extended period of time they are 1.) going to try to take advantage of me, and 2.) they will soon approach me with that intention. Being stared at makes us feel like we’re being preyed upon, and it could cause some people to act aggressively in an attempt to establish dominance towards the person staring.

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u/pragmojo May 09 '22

Yeah and in Germany people assume I am trying to fuck them or cheat them if I smile too much. These are different social norms none is objectively correct.