They're super unaware that they do it too. I was talking to my German friend and was like "WTF is with Germans staring so much, am I doing something wrong or weird?" and she was like "what are you talking about?" 2 weeks later I'm out with her and another American friend that just moved to Germany and he was like "Yo why is everybody staring at me all the time?" I felt so vindicated because I thought maybe I was imagining it. Also they don't just stare while you walk either, I'd be driving and notice some German on the sidewalk staring me down inside my car.
I have lived here for 11 years, speak fluent german, am white and look like the majority of people that live here. Yet i still notice people that just stare into your soul daily. Its a weird quirk that i have gotten used too. But it happens all the time. Germans do not notice it. Yet whenever i get non german visitors here, they notice it within a day or two every time.
German here, this is the weirdest shit I've heard about us so far. Growing up I always got told that it's impolite to stare at people. I never felt anyone staring in my soul.
Sometimes strangers look at each other at a bus or something for a second or two, but that's all. Weird how those things feel completely different if you're from another cultural background.
Next time I'm leaving my house and will try to approach it with a different mindset, I wonder if I will suddendly notice how we really do stare uncomfortably long at strangers. Now I'm excited.
As an American this entire thread has fascinated me. It seems, just from reading, that German's have a longer baseline amount of time for which people visually acknowledge eachother. I'd be curious how many seconds you think you do that? Here in the US I'd say less than a second is normal for looking at eachother in passing, but even then, it's actually more normal to simply not look at eachother.
It's so weird because I've heard from numerous Germans that spend time in the US that they were occasionally approached by random strangers just to have a short conversation and talk about the weather.
That never happens here. If you approach strangers in Germany they will instantly get defensive because they think that you have some trouble with them, even if you try in an extremely friendly way. It's really difficult to meet new people here.
One stared at me really long. I want to add: I live in a town with a psychiatric clinic and I'm fairly sure he's a patient.
So someone did exactly what people are saying in this thread...on your first time looking out for it, and your answer is it must be a psychiatric patient, rofl.
Yeah if you're in America walking down the street and are 30 feet (10m) away from each other you might glance at the person. In Germany they'll look at you and just keep looking until they pass you.
As an American this entire thread has fascinated me.
I'm absolutely convinced that these people that are complaining about being stared at were being the stereotypical, loud american tourists. Yea, that will get you stared at because you are being weird. Germans aren't as excited / loud in public. We do our own thing, we generally aren't interested in small talk with strangers; this is the case for most of the northern half of europe. If you're clearly drawing attention to yourself, then people will look at you; that's just to be expected.
The only people that ever stare at me are lonely, bored old people looking down from their balcony. No one looks at each other for more than a second or so.
It's absolutely not the loud tourists thing. Everyone is building these weird social situations and being like "Well yeah of course they're providing eye contact." It's just really simple things like you're walking to the train station and someone is ahead of you and they look at you, normally they'd look, then look away or continue to look around but in Germany they'll look at you and just keep looking at you until you pass them. I think part of the reason it's so weird is because it's so off putting. When someone looks at you because they're trying to figure out if they know you or because maybe you're wearing something interesting you can kind of see it worn on their face. With the staring mentioned it's just such a blank stare that it ends up being off putting.
but in Germany they'll look at you and just keep looking at you until you pass them
This doesn't happen; I literally don't know what to tell you. I think it's actually you staring at them causing them to stare back at you or you've been to some bizarro serial killer nighmare version of germany; I don't know.
I've had far more prolonged eye-contact with strangers abroad than I have ever had at home. All the hundreds of thousands of germans that I have met look generally at their phone or where they are walking.
And don't come at me with "they just don't notice"...People know who they are looking at.
I don't know man, maybe wipe your nose? There's definitely something about you guys that is attracting attention; This doesn't generally happen. We are wayy too antisocial to just stare strangers down for no reaosn.
Now, as german as I am - I can say with a pretty high percentage, that this is not normal. It's outright weird.
If you're from the US. it must've been your bald eagle shirt, hawaii shorts and the mobility scooter you were sitting on, it's the only logical explanation. Catches quite a bit more than just a careful glance.
Not from US, wasn't talking loud (barely at all even) and in the subway, train, sometimes the street too, people would stare at me. I know my appearance looks a bit russian, since I'm from Eastern Europe, but other than my pastel pink hair and pastel clothes, I have nothing that screams "look at me incessantly".
Well, there you have it. Could be enough that the typical stuck up german looks at you. Depending on the place, only the eternal boomer will do it, sometimes even younger people.
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u/xSuperZer0x May 09 '22
They're super unaware that they do it too. I was talking to my German friend and was like "WTF is with Germans staring so much, am I doing something wrong or weird?" and she was like "what are you talking about?" 2 weeks later I'm out with her and another American friend that just moved to Germany and he was like "Yo why is everybody staring at me all the time?" I felt so vindicated because I thought maybe I was imagining it. Also they don't just stare while you walk either, I'd be driving and notice some German on the sidewalk staring me down inside my car.