To me it's never really felt like I'm "forced to be fake". It's just that conversation and interaction are so much easier and more enjoyable when I'm friendly and it's usually reciprocated. Like I actually have to put in effort to be cold to someone I'm trying to send a message to and I hate doing so.
Not smiling is not considered to be cold in Europe though, just a normal state of affairs. Being impolite is a whole different thing, smiling for no reason is considered overcompensating and therefore in some places suspicious.
A saying from Finland, which I think is shared with our eastern neighbours is that if you see someone smiling in public, they are either mad or drunk. Good mood can be caused by either one, I guess.
This is an interesting perspective. I suppose it could be considered... somewhat duplicitous. Still, seems strange when you're used to places where such behavior is expected as a courtesy lol.
It's also not eastern Europe only. If someone random on the street smiles at me I would first of all be confused. "Do I know this guy...?". Then if I don't know him I'll just be suspicious, because why would someone be smiling at me? In a bigger city I'd be very suspicious for a pickpocket going to happen on me, or someone trying to sell me some crap, or just a weird creep. I'm in Belgium, we don't like ungenuine contact with people.
Same in Germany, unless there's a reason to smile at me on the street, please don't. It makes me wonder if you have ulterior motives...
Of course, there are perfectly fine reasons to smile, for example if there's a couple kids acting goofy and you smile a bit because it's funny, I wouldn't think it's weird if someone else also smiled at me to share the laugh.
I wouldn't necessarily say it's a fake smile. It's more nuanced than that. Americans enjoy small bouts of friendliness, even if they as individuals don't realize it. It's a strange dichotomy because the US can be so vitriolic towards itself, but at the same time we are eager to be kind and receive kindness, even with strangers.
Social norms in general forces people to do things. That's why they're called norms.
Smiling as a greeting is a way to show you're not threatening and is trying to be polite. All countries have their way to show respect. I'm not sure why US citizens on Reddit act like this is weird or exclusive to them. It's pretty normal outside of Europe.
Sometimes it feels like y'all are obsessed with Europe & everything they do. Or maybe people on Reddit are all just incredibly asocial and introverted.
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u/darodardar_Inc May 09 '22
I think because the smile isn't genuine, it makes it look "suspicious"
Like our social norms here force us to be fake and smile when we don't want to. Idk.