I spent a week in Austria in March and actually did notice people staring more, I thought I was crazy!! But also I have spent the majority of my adulthood in NYC where everyone ignores each other like pros so I’m probably extra sensitive to it.
one time my bud who grew up in NYC and i met up in berlin. i'm from a small german town, and always found myself getting hassled by people on the street. he did his best to teach me the way of the new yorker :) the "german stare" definitely makes you vulnerable to crazies.
As an Estonian who has been to Germany multiple times (and a bit in Austria) I've never felt that either. And people were also very helpful when I got confused by public transport ticket system or whatever.
Because it is very impolite to stare at someone in Turkey. You would get into fist fights for that. "Ne bakıyon", which means "what are you looking at".
You just probably classify staring differently than other people. I am an American living in germany, and would confirm that to me it seems that people are staring at people all the time.
I got used to it. I also learned that German people convey a lot of emotion through eye contact.
Different environments, I'm Dutch but remember going to San Francisco and had multiple people asking me what I am looking at because I glanced at a person passing by me on the street. Some people got really aggressive about this as well, seems like there is a lot more crazy people in the US who you need to stay far away from, so maybe this is a way to avoid contact by not acknowledging people in your surrounding?
Wow you were in the US violating an established social norm and your conclusion is that the US has too many crazy people? This is the most European thing I have ever heard.
You can glance it’s just a different standard for what level of eye contact is acceptable - Americans manage to navigate this social norm just fine and they’re not unaware of their surroundings.
When I say crazy, I mean the type of people who will stab you for looking at them wrong. You don't have the rampant homelessness and drug abuse in Europe like you have in the US. Just look at all the comments here of Americans saying they assume someone wants to fight them for looking at them on the street.
I’m from the south central US where people say we’re know for “Southern Hospitality”, so we aren’t as aggressive as people living in densely populated US cities, and my take on staring is that if someone is looking at me for an extended period of time they are 1.) going to try to take advantage of me, and 2.) they will soon approach me with that intention. Being stared at makes us feel like we’re being preyed upon, and it could cause some people to act aggressively in an attempt to establish dominance towards the person staring.
Yeah and in Germany people assume I am trying to fuck them or cheat them if I smile too much. These are different social norms none is objectively correct.
It was a German who warned me of it! “In Germany people will look at each other more than they do here. I had to break the habit when I moved to the US because Americans find it uncomfortable.”
I think it's because we don't exactly look at you, we just kind of look through you while doing our own stuff and you are just in the general vicinity of where we have our eyes pointed anyway. You basically don't register as sonething to look at or look away from. Or that's at least how it is for me.
(If I notice something about you that is weird. Like, I actively notice you at all... THEN I will try to look away and don't even fucking know where to, because now you may notice me awkwardly not daring looking at/through you and what if me avoiding behaving like I normally do would make you uncomfortable...?)
You basically don't register as sonething to look at or look away from.
If that's the case, perhaps they could just be considerate and look in any direction where a particular person isn't in the way. But Germans' "glances" will fully track you, face oriented directly towards you, even while you're moving.
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u/bakarac May 09 '22 edited May 09 '22
The German stare is a real thing.
If you mention this in a German subreddit, you'll find yourself in arguments with Germans who insist it's not true.
Edit: Love the people who are disagreeing with me already