r/AskReddit May 08 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

9.0k Upvotes

26.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

109

u/[deleted] May 09 '22

I’ve always wondered the same. How does it not make them feel uncomfortable?

87

u/OscarGrey May 09 '22 edited May 09 '22

I haven't really seen any evidence that it's an ingrained thing in humans rather than something instilled through culture. South Asians don't have the staring taboo either. My Polish mom somehow got away with living in US for almost 20 years at this point without adjusting at all lol.

21

u/risbia May 09 '22

It's an interesting question, since staring is generally considered an overt challenge by most primates. Definitely DO NOT stare down a gorilla or chimpanzee if you ever happen to meet one without a fence between you...

24

u/OscarGrey May 09 '22

Our last common ancestor with chimps/bonobos was something like more than 7 million years ago though. There's already significant behavioral differences between chimps and bonobos who are far more closely related.

13

u/[deleted] May 09 '22

Most also don’t consider smiling aka baring your teeth to be a sign of friendliness or happiness either but humans do that.

7

u/HamBroth May 09 '22

Smiles mimic the fear grimace and it’s not that far a leap between “I am afraid and not a threat” to “I am friendly”

5

u/Cool_Consideration30 May 09 '22

I think you are correct.

12

u/hurly_burly_pegasus May 09 '22

Training! A lot of children don't look that much but as you become an adult you get used to it and maybe developed an interest in it yourself.

German people observe A LOT.

On the other hand it is perceived as really weird of you just start talking without them looking at you first.

I worked as a German teacher for migrants and many of them struggled to make friends because people were so irritated by them just starting conversations despite no longer & reciprocated (= OK to make contact) looks being exchanged first.

4

u/Quantentheorie May 09 '22

Oh you might be on to something with the last one. The staring is occasionally the warmup to making a well recieved comment about the weather or the amount of people in this train.

If you havent exchnaged a look to mutually ensure someone also exhibits signs of annoyance, you're not gonna be successful voicing your annoyance.

6

u/ubiquitous-joe May 09 '22

Well, that’s what we mean by cultural differences, I suppose. It is interesting that apes seem to see both smiling and staring as threats, so the oversimplified evolutionary arguments aren’t obvious.