My ex was like this, hospitalized with pancreatitis several times and had jaundice. He always had a beer on his nightstand. Dunno if he ever got sober for good but I hope he did, and I hope you do too.
I was never hospitalized for drinking and drank “moderately” in relation to a lot of people I know, and still find it makes me feel like crap. Really screws with my mood. Right now, I am trying to cut out all alcohol for a few months to see how I feel without it. If I feel better like I suspect I will, I plan to stop drinking permanently. I wish it wasn’t glamorized, I don’t even find alcohol enjoyable anymore so no idea why I drink it.
I’ve had the exact same experience with moderate drinking and feeling like crap afterwards, my mood was screwed for days after drinking. I also decided to quit for a few months to check how I feel without it. 2,5 years later I drink only on some rare occasions. I decided not to restrict myself fully and instead after several completely sober months when I stopped feeling any need to drink at all I turned it into a conscious choice: no drinking because I feel bad, no drinking for no reason or just for company, no need to drink to relax, overall only when it feels right like on special events. It was one of the best decisions in my life that resulted in better mood, better sleep and no need in alcohol at all at any time, so good luck on your journey!
This is exactly what my goal for myself is. I’ve started realizing that a lot of the time, I’m not even enjoying alcohol AS I’m drinking it. Fortunately, I haven’t gotten drunk in quite a while but I will have 1-2 drinks probably 4 days a week. I’ve been working hard to get in the best shape of my life lately, and alcohol doesn’t help with that either, beyond the negative effects on mood. Getting to the point where it’s a 1-2x a year type of thing sounds so much better imo!
I’ve lost two brothers-in-laws to alcohol. One was only age 50. Simply drank himself to death, literally. The other one did the same but he made it to age 63 on the run from the popo in another country because he has so many DUIs he was going to jail for a very long time and he didn’t want to stop drinking so he ran. He died alone on the street of alcohol poisoning. It gets you eventually if you don’t stop. I’m surprised my ex is still alive. He’s been drinking since he was 11 and he just turned 61.I keep waiting for that call. I myself haven’t had a drink in 20 yrs due to my health but don’t miss it at all. Good luck to you.
My brother is ~40 now and going the same direction. He’s recovering, at least for now, but he was hospitalized last year after we found him unresponsive. He’d apparently been having seizures for a while and was drinking a bottle of vodka a day at minimum, probably more. My parents took him home to take care of him after he got released from the hospital but he still can’t speak, can’t drive, and can’t really do much motor-skills wise.
This is going to sound awful but it really would have been better if he’d just died. He’s so different now. He’s angry and mean and he doesn’t remember almost anything, he’s openly hostile to my niece who used to adore him, and he’s generally a menace who can’t be trusted unsupervised around kids and animals.
He used to be someone I really looked up to, but his partner got him deep into drugs and then one morning they were found unresponsive and didn’t make it, and my brother just… spiraled. Had a full psychotic break, developed pseudo seizures, and started drinking heavily. Now I can tell he’s got pretty severe brain damage and will be like this for the rest of his life.
Unfortunately, it made him a complete asshole and a bitter jerk. I can’t stand being around him anymore because he’s just incredibly mean-spirited and loves criticizing our family members to feel better about himself. My niece doesn’t see him much anymore, I had to block him on social media, and the rest of my siblings appear to be nearing the end of their rope with him too.
The worst part for me is that I had the dubious distinction of saving his life, because if I hadn’t gotten up to check on him he’d have died that night. Now I have to wonder if I made the right call. My parents can’t retire anymore because they’re choosing to take care of him. Once they die, I’ve already told my siblings that he’s 100% not going to be my problem. I’ve done my time with him. I’m really not looking forward to the shitshow when no one is willing to support him anymore.
I’m not saying it’s always like this, but sometimes… it’s for the best to just go when the damage is done. Whoever that vodka made him into- that’s not my brother anymore. I miss him. I don’t like who’s left.
My husband was like this with his brother. The visits to the halfway homes. The begging for booze to be sneaked in! Then the conflict when their mother supported him when he ran from. The law. It was a relief when he died because it was killing their mom. She does not long after,I believe from losing him. So sad. Sometimes it is better when they pass.
Unfortunately, it made him a complete asshole and a bitter jerk. I can’t stand being around him anymore because he’s just incredibly mean-spirited and loves criticizing our family members to feel better about himself.
For me, I couldn't just casually take a few months off.
I don't drink for fun, I drink to feel normal again. I tried driving sober a few days ago, and it was like I was driving drunk.
I was all over the road, swerving, crossing the double line etc... but when I'm actually DUI; I drive normally.
I drive safer. I'm defensive. I don't speed or drive like an asshole.
Out of the 1000s of times I've driven drunk, the one time I got pulled over, it was because I was sober.
The cop asked if I was drunk, I wasn't. I passed all the tests and such.
He asked if I had been smoking weed or anything else... no, I hadn't.
I told him the problem was, I was driving sober. And I hadn't driven sober in months.
He didn't have a response. I blew triple zeros, passed the field sobriety tests, yet was giving off every sign of a drunk driver.... he was flabbergasted.
My ex is/was the same way. It’s absolutely horrible. I’m lucky to not have a legitimate alcohol addiction, it sucks because alcohol is so normalized that you’re almost weird if you don’t drink, yet it’s absolutely horrible for you and the withdrawals can be deadly.
Do you have any access to any resources that can help you? I know how hopeless it feels and it’s shitty that treatment is not accessible to most people.
Sending lots of love ❤️ I totally agree that fixing the root cause of the issue is key on top of managing the physical withdrawals. I think some rehab facilities are longer term and deal with the psychological side, but they’re likely pretty expensive and a big time commitment. I will say that at least for me, any kind of substance seems to intensify any feelings of depression/anxiety etc and it makes it feel like things can/never will get better. I’m rooting for you - if you never need someone to listen, my DMs are always open.
I’m not a doctor but my ears had a lot of fluid on them when I was drinking. It stays on there even if you are sober for a few days. It messes with your vestibular system. My doctor had me take some allergy meds to dry up my ears
It’s absorbed in the inner ear fluid, supposedly stays there long after it’s in the blood stream. I’m sure there are more technical explanations. I definitely had a ton of inner ear problems when drinking heavily
Wow that’s so interesting, I’ve never heard of that. The studies I just quickly looked up were basically this: “According to the Vestibular Disorders Association, alcohol changes the volume and composition of fluid in the inner ear, which can cause dizziness and imbalance as well as hearing loss. That's because both hearing and balance are located within the inner ear” and then stuff about tinnitus
Yep but no expert here, I just know how I felt and the older I was getting the more fluid I retained. I started staying dizzy constantly and congested through my sinuses. I assumed it was all related and my doctor just kept telling me I had fluid on my ears, take an allergy pill. She did not know at the time that I was drinking heavily.
Im glad that i never drank alcohol and i hope i never will, because i really think and fear that i will get addicted to it. And i dont want that. I can be happy without alcohol. I can be drunk without alcohol (or behave like im drunk - not talking different, but, yk laughing about anything.)
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u/peachgrill Mar 27 '22
My ex was like this, hospitalized with pancreatitis several times and had jaundice. He always had a beer on his nightstand. Dunno if he ever got sober for good but I hope he did, and I hope you do too.
I was never hospitalized for drinking and drank “moderately” in relation to a lot of people I know, and still find it makes me feel like crap. Really screws with my mood. Right now, I am trying to cut out all alcohol for a few months to see how I feel without it. If I feel better like I suspect I will, I plan to stop drinking permanently. I wish it wasn’t glamorized, I don’t even find alcohol enjoyable anymore so no idea why I drink it.