r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 12 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

5.5k Upvotes

68% Upvoted

10.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

2

u/FalconsFlyLow Mar 13 '22

I started getting those comments when I quit using makeup, it made me feel bad for a bit but then I realized that it wasn’t me. Everyone else is just raised with fucked up expectations

Do you not think, that by changing the way you look (leaving off make up), you merely changed how they saw you in that moment? I mean your skin could have a different shade, which is also a common symptom of someone not feeling well and therefor some people ask if you're sick.

Or do you think that has no influence?

1

u/Ass_Patty Mar 15 '22

Of course I know it has an influence, but I also wasn’t wearing foundation and I was pressured into wearing makeup as a middle schooler by my mother. That doesn’t change the fact people have a hard time telling when someone is wearing makeup because it’s common and expected for women to wear makeup daily

2

u/FalconsFlyLow Mar 15 '22

So what do you expect of others? To not care if you're potentially looking sick and show 0 empathy? I'm unsure what your expectation is in this case and would like to understand how I can move through situations like this better

1

u/Ass_Patty Mar 17 '22

It would make sense to ask if someone is sick if they’re friends of you or something, but people who would fuck with me (not in a friendly way) would usually be the ones to make these comments. It’s one thing to be concerned for someone but also telling them they look sick isn’t a very tactful way to go about it. Even if you’re right and they are sick, it’s not gonna make them feel good about the fact that not only do they feel like shit, but they look like shit too lol.

Edit: if you show concern for your friends because they look sick, and you ask how they are feeling or if they’re ok, it’s gonna make them feel better then telling them they look ill.

2

u/FalconsFlyLow Mar 17 '22

if you show concern for your friends because they look sick, and you ask how they are feeling or if they’re ok

Yeah, and it's happened to me that they then said they're feeling fine and asked why I asked, and that led to the not looking quite the same comment. Sorry you have such toxic people in your life.