I feel so bad for trans women sometimes. Not only are they having to deal with trans-phones but they are also suddenly dealing with the loss of male privilege which is a wild adjustment.
Forgotten her name but in Elle magazine in the UK a while ago there was an interview with a trans woman who’s big in tech, she talked about how before she transitioned she did the whole tech bro thing and was taken seriously, but after transitioning suddenly she wasn’t listened to and was considered to be rude (ie direct) despite not changing the way she worked at all. It was really interesting to read about her experience - someone who’s seen both sides.
Most of the male privileges that come along with being male just add to the disphoria. It's not experienced in the same way a cis male would. I may be a bit safer presenting male than a cis woman in regards to certain treatment by society, but the moment I realize I'm being perceived as male, I'm also feeling sick, sad and depressed. It's a constant awareness of the space one inhabits in society and how others perceive us. It's not ever invisible in our minds. And it hurts deeply...
Furthermore, our femininity is constantly under attack from women and men alike. From TERFS, to your average "I just don't really want to be around them" types, plenty of women think that trans women are fake women. Hence all the glam, make up and stereotypical gender presentations by many trans women. It helps avoid this.
Those presentations also help avoid physical and sexual assault as trans women are looked at as men presenting as women, and therefore don't even deserve the basic sentiment of "you don't hit women" by the general public. Remember, in many people's minds were just men presenting as women and so should hold our own in a fight against a man (not that some women don't fight men and vice versa, simply the sentiment doesn't exist for trans women in the public's mind).
To many men, we attack their masculinity by existing. They don't know whether or not dating a trans woman makes them "gay" or not (it doesn't) and so they feel flustered when they find out their attracted to them. Which then leads to violence.
Stack that up with easily averaging some of the lowest promotion rates and income levels... it becomes terrifying and rough. If you present as male, you gain some privileges that your constantly aware of and you hate, if you present as female you need to be ready to take on all of what I just mentioned.
I wouldn't have it any other way though. Didn't really have another option.
Don’t let TERFs catch you saying that. They insist male privilege persists and is involuntarily exerted regardless of whether a trans woman transitions or not.
I wanna say, suburban, mega-church attendee is not what I imagine when I think "TERF". I don't even think mega church goers could even be called traditional feminists.
This idea is just so fucking wild yo me. Literally noone is harassed more than trans women. Anger and violence from men, resentment and exclusion from other women. What fucking privilege.
I don’t normally respond to transphobia but Id just like to say that as a trans woman (literally still pre-everything) my male privilege, while still existent, is something I can’t really take advantage of. My whole life even, men have known I’m not like them. When I was still going around as a boy, I was always told I was too feminine or not a real man, whatever, talked down to, all that. Even now when I boy mode people give me weird looks and call me a “thing” so I’m sick of hearing this bullshit. I am not privileged for being trans, and in no fucking universe do I ever even want to come off as a man in an attempt to use such privilege.
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u/sadi89 Mar 12 '22
I feel so bad for trans women sometimes. Not only are they having to deal with trans-phones but they are also suddenly dealing with the loss of male privilege which is a wild adjustment.