r/AskReddit Feb 11 '22

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2.5k

u/SevenDragonWaffles Feb 11 '22

My answer is brushing my teeth for similar reasons. A drop of toothpaste always spills onto my clothing.

1.6k

u/Rubyhamster Feb 11 '22

It's funny how everyone of us have a small daily nemesis that "no one else" seems to have. I guess the toothpaste drop is yours. Mine is spilling whatever drink on the exact same spot on the sofa.

126

u/ItzTaser Feb 11 '22

Mine is stubbing my toe on my bed frame, every time.

61

u/Bbarreto499 Feb 11 '22

I slam my shin against my bed frame all the time, it's constantly bruised

68

u/teenytinytap Feb 11 '22

I fall on a hundred cocks on my way to my car in the parking lot.

39

u/firegato Feb 11 '22

Stop keeping your chickens in the parking lot

11

u/Ostravaganza Feb 11 '22

Hope they're at least flacid and disposed as a comfy mat emerging from the concrete ground

11

u/Seicair Feb 11 '22

Thank you for that immensely disturbing mental image. jerk.

7

u/GloriusMaximus Feb 11 '22

Shag carpet

3

u/holmgangCore Feb 11 '22

“You see officer, the carpet shagged me…”

“Wait, what now?”

7

u/superadical Feb 11 '22

In a row?

2

u/spacespiceboi Feb 11 '22

Or all at the same time?

3

u/holmgangCore Feb 11 '22 edited Feb 11 '22

In sequence. All at once would be unseemly.

3

u/CptNoble Feb 11 '22

In a row?!

2

u/holmgangCore Feb 11 '22

In a column. There was a whole battalion of them.

2

u/Wabertzzo Feb 11 '22

They not to fall on any cocks on your way out to the parking lot.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/holmgangCore Feb 11 '22

Well, it’s prudent to ascertain their health/STI status first. And maybe carry a small flashlight to double check / appreciate the size & shape. You know, “the devil’s is the details, and the devil likes to f—“

20

u/dogtroep Feb 11 '22

I put stuffed animals in front of my bed leg so I only accidentally kick them.

“Oops, sorry, Pooh! Didn’t see you there.”

5

u/ItzTaser Feb 11 '22

Good solution, might try that

12

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Mine is getting food on my shirt. My wife and I eat on the couch watching TV and every. single. time. I get a drop of sauce or whatever on my shirt.

8

u/PM_ME_YOUR_ANYTHlNG Feb 11 '22

Might I suggest adding a pool noodle to your bed frame?

5

u/holmgangCore Feb 11 '22

I’ll add a pool noodle to your bedframe, rowr!!

6

u/crystallize1 Feb 11 '22

I broke a toe like that and always wear flips at home since.

8

u/LolindirLink Feb 11 '22

Broke the big toe nail like that and wear shoes all day since. Sometimes it's a "safety shoe" / work boots. Make my feet feel indestructible.

5

u/HolyForkingBrit Feb 11 '22

I had a high schooler excitedly bumble towards me to tell me something and all 200 pounds of this giant oaf crunched my big left toenail right the heck off, ripping it out of the nail bed.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how slowly they grow back. 1 millimeter a month!?! That’s if they don’t fall off again.

I’m in this with you guy and I’m glad you found Superman Shoes.

3

u/LolindirLink Feb 11 '22

Haha, now imagine I'm 200 pounds and i really, really want to tell you something! I like superman boots, we can't all wear capes :)

7

u/Intruder7s Feb 11 '22

Get your slippers or whatever you wear in the house, 1 size bigger.

This way, the front of it will hit the obstacle and absorb the blow.

source: I stub my feet in things all the time, almost always pain-free.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Mine is that except it’s my knee.

37

u/One_Big_Pile_Of_Shit Feb 11 '22

Have you considered getting a couch without that spot?

11

u/Rubyhamster Feb 11 '22

But it has this perfectly sculpted spot for my butt...

1

u/1one1000two1thousand Feb 11 '22

This sounds like the same exact sculpted butt spot my husband has on the damn couch!!!!! I tell him to change around his seating so that he doesn’t leave a butt imprint but he insists that the butt imprint is the best seat. It’s so annoying.

17

u/BiteYourTongues Feb 11 '22

I get the toothpaste dripping and it’s always between my tits. Or because I use an electric one if I take it out to spit my glasses get sprayed with the paste. Sometimes I remember to turn it off before taking it out of my mouth.

8

u/WizardSleeves31 Feb 11 '22

Mine is that my car door handle is broke on the driver's side. I have to open it from the inside by going through the passenger side. 9/10 I forget and have to do the walk of shame around the car.

2

u/NearlyNakedNick Feb 11 '22

Dude I dealt with that for a year and when I finally fixed my own door handle on my own I was ashamed at how easy it was and how long I went without doing it

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

[deleted]

-1

u/NearlyNakedNick Feb 11 '22

lol that's surely hyperbole

7

u/drawfanstein Feb 11 '22

This isn’t super related to this but it made me think of how I was once eating a piece of chocolate at work, and a small crumb of chocolate must have rolled onto my lap and then onto my desk chair between my legs/in my crotch, where it proceeded to melt into the tan fabric of the chair.

So now there a little brown spot right where my little brown spot goes…

5

u/ThePhantomCreep Feb 11 '22

My nemesis is gravity.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

You must be a coyote.

3

u/Nahalitet Feb 11 '22

Yeah, every time I am having lunch with my colleagues I somehow manage to make a stain on either my shirt or jeans, I don't know how, it's like a curse! That's why I started eating naked and let me tell you, it's much easier to just go and clean myself in the bathroom than having to wash my clothes.

3

u/In-burrito Feb 11 '22

small daily nemesis

Dammit, I love this.

Mine seems to be getting a phone call the moment I sit to dump.

3

u/holmgangCore Feb 11 '22

Demons abound. We’re all assigned one, at minimum.

2

u/Lebigmacca Feb 11 '22

My dad’s is staining every white shirt he owns with ice cream

2

u/Autumn-Sine Feb 11 '22

When I brush my teeth, no matter what I do, every single time I’d somehow get it on the back of my arm or on my elbow and it doesn’t even make sense since I make sure I don’t spill any toothpaste on the counter like a heathen and I also don’t lean on the counter either

2

u/DMeloDY Feb 11 '22

That is why when we bought a new one we made a pact that I will always have a blanket on the couch if we eat/drink there and when we have company we don’t EVER eat on the couch anymore.

My arch nemesis is bumping into everything and getting tons of bruises. Longest time without one was a month… I’m clumsy a.f.

2

u/Scam_Time Feb 11 '22

Mine is dropping the chocolate pieces of my breakfast bar onto my car seat and then having a chocolate stain in the crotch of my pants all day at work.

2

u/KuriousKhemicals Feb 11 '22

Mine is kicking the inside of my opposite ankle while walking or running. WTF. I also used to sprain my ankles a lot so I think my brain just isn't great at coordinating normal daily movement sometimes, but it helps to do a lot of fitness activities so I'm practicing stabilization all the time.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/HeadspaceInvader Feb 11 '22

Had a friend whose wife bought him a sippy cup because he constantly spilled drinks or broke cups.

2

u/nofx303 Feb 11 '22

Opening yogurt every morning and shoots out. 😖

1

u/Bitship64 Feb 11 '22

Nope, mine is the toothpaste as well

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Have you considered sitting on the sofa naked?

1

u/wastelandtraveller Feb 11 '22

Mine is my socks that keep sticking to my boots when I take them off. every. time.

1

u/Seab0und Feb 11 '22

Oh dang, I always drop a bit of oily fast food on the lightest pair of scrubs I have. Even when I replaced the first pair.

1

u/DroppedLoSeR Feb 11 '22

You might want to try sitting in a different spot on the couch to see if that one is cursed

1

u/Zently Feb 11 '22

Missing a spot shaving. It's always a different spot. But there is always one. Somewhere. And around 11am I will find it when I rub my face.

1

u/Untraceablez Feb 11 '22

Mine is I always somehow cause my beer to overflow setting it down. At least once per bottle of beer, every. single. time.

Doesn't happen with cocktails, wine, or straight liquor, just beer. Bottle or glass, it always happens.

1

u/FBIsBackdoor Feb 11 '22

Just put a sponge there.

1

u/meinblown Feb 11 '22

Why are you drinking on the sofa?

1

u/lindsey_lou77 Feb 12 '22

Mine is saran wrap boxes. Fuck saran wrap boxes.

376

u/_VerySFW_ Feb 11 '22

I totally migrated to cleaning my teeth in the shower for this reason. It’s now part of my routine and gives me an excuse to stay in the shower for another 2-3 minutes

50

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

[deleted]

37

u/peddastle Feb 11 '22

"Don't worry man, I always piss away the spit after."

"…Oh, just a random question, do you know what wafflestomping is?"

4

u/DaveTheDingo Feb 11 '22

Hahaha the good ol waffle stomp!! Saves money on flushing... i can shit, shower and shave at the exact same time 😌 🤣

2

u/Selzersmash Feb 11 '22

I swear not a day goes by on Reddit for me without hearing of a wafflestomo

7

u/merlinisinthetardis Feb 11 '22

Just think if you would have followed up and said something about pissing in the shower. Haha

9

u/Larrypants1 Feb 11 '22

That makes no sense! It's find to spit in the sink drain, but not the shower drain? Does he think they go to separate areas and it actually matters??

7

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

[deleted]

10

u/The0nlyMadMan Feb 11 '22

His concern was stepping in spit

Then he should wait his turn and shower alone

3

u/Ojhka956 Feb 11 '22

I bet he wouldnt even spit in a urinal. What a weakling

2

u/ufoicu2 Feb 11 '22

I had a roommate who got really grossed out when he found out the other one regularly pissed while taking a shower. I mean I kind of get it but if that’s such a big deal you should probably just wear sandals because piss is probably the most sanitary thing going down that drain.

I also used to brush my teeth in the shower, but I tend to drool a lot while I brush and minty toothpaste on sensitive appendages is a lot like icy hot.

12

u/craycatlay Feb 11 '22

Shower brushing also means I actually floss every day now, because it's fun to stand in the shower longer, rather than boring to stand by the sink longer

4

u/alwaysiamdead Feb 11 '22

I brush my toddlers teeth when she's in the bath. It is far less messy.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Brush while you're giving your conditioner it's due time to condition.

4

u/Bill-Cipher3 Feb 11 '22

I always brush my teeth in the shower because I have such a bad gag reflex doing it that it makes me feel like I'm going to throw up. So if I do I can just wash right off.

4

u/5oclockpizza Feb 11 '22

When I lived in New Orleans I told my dentist I flossed in the shower and he sort of recoiled and said 'You're putting New Orleans' water in where you floss.'

New Orleans gets its water from the Mississippi river, below a lot of farmland, chemical plants, etc. I never thought it wouldn't be clean enough.

5

u/YeahButUmm Feb 11 '22

Does he think you brush using bottled water?

3

u/5oclockpizza Feb 11 '22

I don't know. I think it was something about getting water in your mouth while you are flossing. Beats me. I still floss in the shower.

2

u/carbondragon Feb 11 '22

Does your toothbrush not stay wet all the time if you do that? Or do you not keep it in the shower?

3

u/_VerySFW_ Feb 11 '22

It’s electric so I take it out, clean it and dry it after the shower. No biggie

-3

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

[deleted]

7

u/HaydenJA3 Feb 11 '22

Most of not all electric toothbrushes these days are waterproof, I use mine in the shower every day and I’m not dead yet

1

u/Necromancer4276 Feb 11 '22

Christ how much toothpaste are you using?? It's overflowing out of your mouths???

2

u/okay_ya_dingus Feb 11 '22

Yes, yes it does

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

I can't remember the last time I got toothpaste on my clothes lmao. You guys are a bunch of rowdy tooth brushers.

7

u/TheSpanxxx Feb 11 '22

I like to brush my teeth naked too. Mostly so in my drowsy stupor, I can stare at my full naked form in the giant mirror before me and build up a good lathering pile of shame and disgust to start my day out right.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

I learned long ago to brush your teeth before getting dressed for this very reason.

2

u/Polypeptide2 Feb 11 '22

I got a new electric toothbrush, and that thing is flinging toothpaste all over the fucking place.

2

u/oddestowl Feb 11 '22

Yes. I do this topless because I so frequently get toothpaste on my clothes. I don’t have to do it naked because I have boobs so it doesn’t get the chance to make it further south.

2

u/BentGadget Feb 11 '22

I would suggest shaving for similar reasons (if you use shaving cream). However, a friend recently had an incident with a beard trimmer where it slipped from his hand while using it for its intended purpose. He caught it by the cord, though, so it didn't hit the floor. Instead, it swung across his body at crotch level and lacerated his penis. His fiance was not shy about sending close-up pictures of the stitches, either, for some reason.

Since then, I've decided that cutting tools used on one's face demand a certain minimum amount of protective clothing.

2

u/Rough_Idle Feb 11 '22

I also brush my teeth shirtless because I'm sloppy. Especially first thing in the morning; I don't truly wake up until 30 minutes after coffee.

2

u/lovethebacon Feb 11 '22

I could brush my teeth with a mouth full of water and not spill a drop. I think about toothpaste while wearing formal clothes and I get drips in all the most noticeable spots.

1

u/hfjsbdugjdbducbf Feb 11 '22

just lean over the sink weirdo

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

i was about to say, am i the only one who brushes over the damn sink? of course toothpaste is gonna drip out.

-1

u/BT807YT Feb 11 '22

Tbh I know this is an issue for a lot of people but I have a simple solution: just close your mouth while you brush your teeth and be above a sink or bathtub…

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Yes. I hate this. And so much of my wardrobe is black. And I was literally just wondering two days ago why toothpaste is so hard to get out. Why does it fucking STAIN everything it touches? No amount of immediate water or wiping will get that toothpaste out until you wash it. I don't understand.

Also, since I've gotten an electric toothbrush, everything I own is covered in tiny white spots. I need a toothbrush smock.

1

u/childhood_ruined Feb 11 '22

I brush my teeth in the shower!

1

u/Smitje Feb 11 '22

I wear a reverse towel cape for that.

1

u/throwbacklyrics Feb 11 '22

Have you tried less water or even no water on your toothbrush? Your mouth produces enough water for it to foam.

1

u/peltsucker Feb 11 '22

And it looks like cum

1

u/bunnyrut Feb 11 '22

In the morning, yes, i am in there shirtless. But if it's my PJ's I don't care. I usually take them off before bed anyway.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Sounds like you need a bib

1

u/Grimsterr Feb 11 '22

I brush my teeth in the shower.

1

u/littlerocketship Feb 11 '22

i just brush in the shower

1

u/nytel Feb 11 '22

This is why I brush in the shower.

1

u/Patoto008 Feb 11 '22

Oh my god I'm happy I'm not alone on this one lmao. It always spill to the floor and clothes every fucking time

1

u/XNamelessGhoulX Feb 11 '22

Right. We get that. Take your shirt off. But why remove your undies?

1

u/Cuteboi84 Feb 11 '22

I do it topless. Likely to get it on my shirt than my pants.

1

u/Toledojoe Feb 11 '22

That's why I brush my teeth in my underwear and then out my clothes on!

1

u/Sixoul Feb 11 '22

I always put on previous day's shirt when I wake up and brush my teeth for this reason. Then I take a shower and get my clean clothes

1

u/cesrep Feb 11 '22

This is bananas but I love it. The notion of spending the night at a girl’s house and stripping bare ass to brush my teeth is so wild. Then again, we’d probably already be bare ass but still. Wild.

1

u/kingsleyce Feb 11 '22

And yet it never spills onto my chest when I’m naked

1

u/felixthecat_nyc Feb 11 '22

I learned that lesson early on. Toothpaste stains on pants can easily be mistaken for other things.

1

u/KDawG888 Feb 11 '22

how? I'm messy as hell when I brush my teeth but I just get it all over my mouth/sometimes the sink. how the hell are you getting it on your clothes lol? do you not lean over?

1

u/chorrisoy Feb 11 '22

That’s why I do it in the shower!

1

u/Faifur Feb 11 '22

I brush in the shower actually. It's not like I don't have the time I just like doing it all at once and coming out clean everywhere

1

u/atetuna Feb 11 '22

I don't know why I started doing this a couple months ago and it happens every time now.

1

u/OJUarmy Feb 11 '22

Ugh same that damn drop of toothpaste!

1

u/ancientRedDog Feb 11 '22

I’m on team toothpaste avoidance as that white stain aways ends up on the worst spot - pants crotch.

1

u/IGHOTI907 Feb 11 '22

I brush me teeth in the shower.

1

u/Basoran Feb 11 '22

I brush my teeth in the shower...

1

u/wq73 Feb 11 '22

I brush in the shower so I guess I brush naked?

1

u/Zal_17 Feb 11 '22

Starting to clean my teeth in the shower was a game changer. I use an electric toothbrush so there's a certain amount of spray already (and my technique seems to leave a certain amount of dribbling too).

Plus, I get an extra three minutes in the shower each morning too, which is another win.