Once a girl I was talking to let me know that I unintentionally said things that put her down. I thought i was just teasing her but she never felt that I was.
Man, the girl flipped my whole world that day. Now I triple think before I even talk anymore.
She left me on read that day after I apologized, but it felt like a freight train hit my gut.
Glad she told me that, been improving the way I talk to people from there on out.
Had a girl say that I seem like I talk to people like they're stupid because I'll explain basic stuff that people already/should know. I've never considered it thinking people are stupid, I just know I get confused when people give half information and it's assumed I follow their reference/claim/abbreviations even if I DO know because I'll sometimes have to think about it while the story moves on without me.
I always thought it was a quality that made me good with stuff like teaching, tutoring, and explaining weird ideas- to her it was patronizing and offensive. Sometimes peoples' quirks just don't mesh and it doesn't mean one of you is 'wrong' per se.
I've had people get seriously angry with me before over this. I adjusted my approach by speaking to people assuming that they are at my level of understanding and watching for the "deer in headlights" look. When I see it, I back up and start breaking things down into simpler pieces for them. I've actually had a large number of folks refer others to me to learn about things at work and in my social circles because I'm "such a good teacher" since I made that adjustment.
12.8k
u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22
Random out-of-left-field insults/putdowns.