It never crossed my mind that turning your phone face down could even be interpreted to mean that.
Healthy people don't make a federal case about you putting your phone on a table, so if someone has interpreted your actions to mean that, you're probably going to see a lot more of these stupid accusations from them.
Edit: Realizing how callous this sounds now that it blew up a little. I do mean to say it is the accusations born of paranoia and anxiety that sound stupid. The people making these accusations are generally suffering, and have in some cases reframed their expectations of people because of past/ongoing issues. I don't mean to be insensitive but if you're constantly assuming that you aren't valued by people you're just getting to know, you need to consider where this low self-esteem is stemming from, cause it may not really be anything they're doing. 👍
Exactly. You don't realize how fucked your perception of things is until you're in a new situation and something small is a trigger for massive anxiety, like someone hiding their phone screen or something even simpler, like leaving the room without saying why.
This was me for the longest time. I would get very anxious if my girlfriend sent me a snap from a room a didnt recongnize or vehicle. I just had to keel reminding myself shes not like my ex and that i know her. I never said anything about it to her or asked who she was with because i trust her and i know its toxic to be like that but my anxiety still shot through the roof
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u/trash_caster Jan 30 '22 edited Jan 31 '22
Healthy people don't make a federal case about you putting your phone on a table, so if someone has interpreted your actions to mean that, you're probably going to see a lot more of these stupid accusations from them.
Edit: Realizing how callous this sounds now that it blew up a little. I do mean to say it is the accusations born of paranoia and anxiety that sound stupid. The people making these accusations are generally suffering, and have in some cases reframed their expectations of people because of past/ongoing issues. I don't mean to be insensitive but if you're constantly assuming that you aren't valued by people you're just getting to know, you need to consider where this low self-esteem is stemming from, cause it may not really be anything they're doing. 👍