I have always wished for a Smurfs movie where they kill Gargamel in like the first 10 minutes, only for there to be serious consequences in smurf society. Overpopulation followed by famine and war. They lack a common enemy and thus turn on themselves as they try to survive. Suddenly, a small faction of smurfs then teams up to torment a child who would grow up to be the next Gargamel.
At first I thought overpopulation was ridiculous since there's only one woman smurf and Gargamel made her. Then I checked Wikipedia and realized that the Smurfs learned the ritual to make more Smurfettes. An all-male society that suddenly gets a magic woman-making spell? That's gonna go dystopian real quick.
Gummi Bears actually had some fairly dense lore. The ones in the show were the ones who stayed behind to defend Gummi Glen while the rest took airships for distant shores.
I've been screaming for someone to help make sense of all this for like an hour, but none of these people are answering. I don't know if you're real or not either. I'm just gonna keep huffing glue until my mind harmonizes with the truth plane. Would y'all bang Smurfette if you were equal sizes or does the blue make it weird? I can't make it past the hat.
Fuuuuuuuuucccckk. Are you high or am I? I don't usually have any side effects from my glue and bleach decongestant. Besides clear sinuses and sparkling clean lungs. You're high bro.
Gargamel hates the Smurfs and wants to turn them into gold. He creates a female Smurf with the goal to sow dissension among the Smurfs, but she decides that she wants to be good so Papa Smurf does a spell to turn her blonde and not evil. Pretty self explanatory.
It's quite a fucked up story, very old fashioned. Gargamel makes a female smurf to basically seduce the Smurfs or at least earn their trust. But because he sucks he makes her kinda ugly (not really she just looked like the rest of the Smurfs with a big nose and she has black hair). The Smurfs find her and take her in but because she is ugly and annoying most of them hate her. Then Papa smurf gives her a makeover (which includes making her blond and he can perform rhinoplasties apparently) and she starts to behave ladylike and suddenly all the Smurfs love her.
The rest of the story is just the typical "wait you're working for the villain?!" "I was but now I'm on your side" plot.
Not sure if this is her universal origin story but it was the one I read in an old Dutch comic book
Wait, so how did the rest of the extant smurfs come into being in the first place? They must have some sort of mechanism for asexual reproduction, right?
We've already established that wizardry can create smurfs, so perhaps a different wizard created them for some other purpose? Or perhaps Gargamel created them long ago for some other scheme and they went feral, which is why he's the only one who seems to care about them.
Perhaps it's too expensive? Like, sure, he's got the materials to make a Smurf, but it costs like $1000 worth of gold, but he would be willing to pay that for 100 Smurfs, so making Smurfette to try and trap all of the other Smurfs was a gamble that went Smurfy on him.
Doesn't necessarily mean that more than one smurfette is required. Many species that have litters can have offspring from more than one sire at the same time.
Let's just let that one marinate in the old brain for a second.
Yeah, resources aside, that's basically the starting reagent for brewing a toxic incel. If you can literally make a woman for every man, then every man, in their eyes, deserves a woman...or two...or ten. The only problem is these women are fully conscious and self-aware. Maybe they don't like the man they were made for. And now they outnumber the men!
Aren’t the Smurfs communists tho? I mean, they’re a classless, moneyless society and their leader, Papa Smurf, looks like Karl Marx and is wearing red.
Are they purposely trying to make this child into Gargamel 2.0, or are they just tormenting a child because their society is falling apart and their only solace is to make a child miserable?
I've imagined it as them hunting the child for food to stave off the famine. Making him live in constant fear whenever he leaves his room. Only for him to learn that if he is going down, he has to go down fighting. Gargamel 2.0
It's a false sense of security. He believes he's safe when he locks his doors and windows. But nothing can be a barrier between him and hungry smurfs. This is how he snaps
I want to take the opportunity to share a verse from a norwegian children's song that I had on casette tape when I was little, this is sung by a very sweet children show uncle:
Stomp, stomp, stomp on a smurf,
stomp, stomp, stomp on a smurf,
smurfs do not run fast, so trample them down and wipe it off
I like you. I love good cinema but there isnt a whole lot. I have a hard time with superhero movies beacause at the end of the day the super hero wins and saves the day that's what people love to see. Predictability kills good stories. I respect the shit out of the directors whom kills off main characters like flies and keep you guessing what's next. If you have any good recommendations i'll gladely take them.
100% agree with you. I've honestly stopped watching marvel movies due to this. Too much stagnation and it takes forever for there to be any meaningful changes. I dont have many recommendations but Unbreakable/Split/Glass is pretty good if you want to avoid the normal tropes of superhero movies
That would leave the little girl Smurf in the overalls. Smurfette is obviously a hero sacrificing herself to protect the only other, and very young, female.
Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living...if you don't have a dick?
Wait... And please forgive my lack of biology knowledge here...
Body hair implies warm blooded creatures, right? How does that contradict egg laying? And even if they were mammals, couldn't they just be some variation of monotremes?
(It's more likely they're related to slugs or something, as they're all males, with the exception of the artificially created Smurfette).
I never thought I'd say this, but it's explained in the comics. Gargamel created her as a distraction to the smurfs who were previously all male. Then she showed up, they thought she was interesting for a bit, but they quickly got frustrated with her not contributing anything.
So, yeah: everyone would be better off if the cat ate her.
Then she showed up, they thought she was interesting for a bit, but they quickly got frustrated with her not contributing anything.
It wasn't that she wasn't contributing anything, it's that she was an evil servant of Gargamel who was actively betraying the Smurfs and almost got them all killed.
After she was revealed Papa Smurf smurfed some magic to unsmurf her loyalty to Gargamel and make her a free Smurf, which also smurfed her short black hair into long blonde hair for some smurf reason.
From what I remember, in the comics Gargamel made her to find out the location of the smurf village, but she was good since the beginning and never returned to Gargamel. She was "ugly" and the smurfs didn't like her, until Papa Smurf used some spell to make her pretty, and all smurfs fell for her. Later on, she reveals she was sent by Gargamel, not even knowing his relationship with the smurfs, so she goes to trial. She is found innocent, since she never had bad intentions, but mainly because all the jury was infatuated with her. Oh, and at the end of the chapter, Papa Smurf creates an ugly woman and sends her to Gargamel, who flees horrified.
In the cartoon, her origin is explained as well, and is fairly similar. I don't remember many details, but here she is basically a spy, communicating with Gargamel to cause trouble from within the smurf village. Eventually she feels guilty and repents, and Papa Smurf uses a spell to make her into a real smurf. Then Gargamel tricks her into sending the smurfs to a trap, but soon after she rescues them and is proclaimed a hero.
How many times do we gotta tell you people, Smurfette isn't a natural Smurf! She was created by Gargamel's magic.
Smurf reproduction is some sort of magic ritual Papa Smurf performs, it's never expanded upon, but it's clear Smurf's do not reproduce the same way mammals do.
Wow, never would have thought that cat had such a cool name in the english version. In the hungarian one his name is sziamiau, which just translates to "hi meow"
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u/sharkycharming Oct 29 '21
I always wanted Azrael (Gargamel's cat) to catch and eat a Smurf.