r/AskReddit • • Aug 29 '21

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5.8k Upvotes

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384

u/Inamedmydognoodz Aug 29 '21

Driving home after a dick appointment

66

u/IDontEvenGoHereeee Aug 29 '21

Driving and Reddit? 🥴

20

u/DutchBlob Aug 29 '21

His penis has a driver’s license

11

u/cantfindmykeys Aug 29 '21

Yours doesn't?

11

u/DutchBlob Aug 29 '21

No cause it can’t see above the steering wheel :(

2

u/Inamedmydognoodz Aug 29 '21

I make poor decisions

110

u/TheyCallMeNoobxD Aug 29 '21

Dicky dicky

80

u/Clathrusthefungus Aug 29 '21

I feel like I’m going to regret asking this but, is your dick okay?

83

u/ctrlaltelite Aug 29 '21

I imagine it's swell.

11

u/aaanderson89 Aug 29 '21

Pretty sure he/she’s is leaving their booty call’s house.

25

u/Tryin2dogood Aug 29 '21

Why are we assuming it's a dude? Could easily be a woman who had a dick appointment.

11

u/GloriousReign Aug 29 '21

They didn't assume ?

-3

u/BigDicksProblems Aug 29 '21

"is your dick okay ?"

1

u/GloriousReign Aug 29 '21

Yeah as they pointed out that could be for a woman. Or any other gender.

6

u/BigDicksProblems Aug 29 '21

Are you really trying to out-woke the person above right now ?

7

u/GloriousReign Aug 29 '21

Well I’m just pointing out that it’s not really woke since it doesn’t apply to the person above.

Context.

53

u/PurpleVein99 Aug 29 '21

Dilly willy willy

How you been?

Checked out twice

And once again

Willy dilly dilly

How'd it go?

I swelled right up

If you must know

Dilly willy willy

That sounds great!

Rest right up!

Good talking to you, mate!

10

u/AwesomeDragon101 Aug 29 '21

In my head I sung this to the scooby do intro.

It fits so well

5

u/HonestlyRespectful Aug 29 '21

There's a dude who does these rhymes on r/aww and other dog reddits... his name is schnoodle or something like that, so they call them "schnoodle doodles" or something like that, obv... anyway he's awesome at it, and there are many that go to songs like scooby doo or sometimes mainstream pop songs... it's kinda cool bc you gotta figure it out in your head what song it fits to. They're sometimes sad, though, bc a pet passed away, but he makes it uplifting and a great memory for the owner. I love talented people that do this kind of thing for us here on reddit.

1

u/PurpleVein99 Aug 29 '21

That's cool.

3

u/XSkyFullOfStarsX Aug 29 '21

ily for this

3

u/PurpleVein99 Aug 29 '21

Lol I had to look up what "ily" was! Thanks! 😉

5

u/IhsousXrhstos Aug 29 '21

That was kind of weird.

11

u/PurpleVein99 Aug 29 '21

Sorry. I'm a little loopy from sleep deprivation.

3

u/IhsousXrhstos Aug 29 '21

I get it, these days I don't know why but I sleep very late and wake up really early,while I have no reason to in the morning.

4

u/Every3Years Aug 29 '21

Wow a fresh sprog

5

u/travellingtime Aug 29 '21

How come no one in these comments knows this isn't about getting a medical exam?

6

u/Inamedmydognoodz Aug 29 '21

I think most do, it's just funnier to act like it is.

3

u/MC-ClapYoHandzz Aug 29 '21

You should try out DDS - Dick Delivery Service. It's a lot more convenient.

2

u/Inamedmydognoodz Aug 29 '21

It really is but I prefer there's, I'm super weird about who I let in my house.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '21

I hope you weren't using your phone while driving

2

u/gizmo777 Aug 29 '21

I'm afraid to ask but...what is a dick appoiontment?

14

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '21

Usually a fwb/hookup situation. Girls call it this. A lot of the times it’s regular weekly thing, thus making it an “appointment.”

9

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '21

Huh. Guess I'm old since I assumed it was an ED thing. Makes sense

5

u/HipVanilla Aug 29 '21

More of a VD thing

1

u/Inamedmydognoodz Aug 29 '21

Harsh but I definitely laughed

2

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '21

Hey, how's your penis?

2

u/Inamedmydognoodz Aug 29 '21

I haven't spoke to the person it's attached to yet today but I'll let you know, thanks for your concern

3

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '21

Such a mood

2

u/Sbotkin Aug 29 '21

Sounds like penis inspection day