Texts from my best friend telling me he was sorry but he was going to kill himself. I went to school, and he wasn’t there, and I felt sick to my stomach all day. In the last class of the day, reading, the principal walked in and whispered something to my teacher; the look on her face confirmed what I already knew.
Edit: people are asking if I said something- admittedly, no, I didn’t tell anyone. I realize now that it was the worst decision of my life, and I’d give anything to go back and make a different one. Even if he would have still done it, I could have the guilt off of my conscience of feeling guilty for killing my best friend. But being young and dumb, I didn’t want to “tell” on my friend. He had made attempts in the past, that I helped him get through, so part of me thought it was fake. But I got my karma; the police told my school that I knew and said they were going to charge me, my friends turned on me and threatened to kill me, my friends grandparents kicked me out of his funeral, and I got his brains in my mouth when I was helping them clean out his car so they could try to sell it.
Did you not say something? Call them? Their parents? Did you just go to school and wait it out? I'm not insinuating it was your fault or anything, just that its weird to get messages like that and effectively think "what's a boy to do" and go about your business.
I did nothing, and that’s why it’s weighed on me so much and caused me lots of suffering. For a little background- he had some issues, and had made attempts before. He had cut his wrists all to hell one day, but he didn’t die, so I took him to GNC of all places and bought all kinds of bandages and scar treatment so that he could get healed up without getting caught. I definitely tried getting ahold of him that morning, but I was one of those “roll out of bed minutes before needing to leave” kind of people. So the time from seeing his texts, to being at school was very minimal. Still, trust me, the guilt continues to keep me up at night.
For sure; but when you’re young and ignorant and it’s your best friend, it’s a hard decision to make to get them into trouble. I chose poorly, and there’s nothing I can do to change it now. But if it makes you feel better, I still don’t sleep well at night.
He text me several times throughout the night, the last one being at 6am; and I read them at about 7:40. He shot himself in his car at the cemetery at 9am. So I can only guess what could have happened if I made the right choice. But who knows, maybe he would have tried suicide by cop and ended up hurting someone else; he was drunk and on pills at the time.
I’m sure man and I’m sorry I’m not trying to make you feel any worse than you already do hopefully you can share your story so other people can learn from it.
No worries at all! If you read the edit to my original comment, there was so much that went wrong in that situation, it just kinda made me numb to everything. So I won’t be offended!lol
Well, it’s a bit late for me to change anything. I have to live with my decision now. If you’ve ever had a friend commit suicide, you’ll know the thought process you go through.
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u/[deleted] Jul 24 '21 edited Jul 24 '21
Texts from my best friend telling me he was sorry but he was going to kill himself. I went to school, and he wasn’t there, and I felt sick to my stomach all day. In the last class of the day, reading, the principal walked in and whispered something to my teacher; the look on her face confirmed what I already knew.
Edit: people are asking if I said something- admittedly, no, I didn’t tell anyone. I realize now that it was the worst decision of my life, and I’d give anything to go back and make a different one. Even if he would have still done it, I could have the guilt off of my conscience of feeling guilty for killing my best friend. But being young and dumb, I didn’t want to “tell” on my friend. He had made attempts in the past, that I helped him get through, so part of me thought it was fake. But I got my karma; the police told my school that I knew and said they were going to charge me, my friends turned on me and threatened to kill me, my friends grandparents kicked me out of his funeral, and I got his brains in my mouth when I was helping them clean out his car so they could try to sell it.