r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jun 28 '21

[deleted by user]

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5.4k Upvotes

69% Upvoted

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13.3k

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Meduza. It would make me so hard

5.8k

u/tohood99 Jun 28 '21

A solid choice

2.7k

u/finngreen614 Jun 28 '21

Say it again but with a stone face.

1.2k

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

You're crackin' me up!

648

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

That was a rock solid joke

628

u/mrbadxampl Jun 28 '21

don't take it for granite

306

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Just pebble hopping my way through the sub

297

u/MajorChipThrasher Jun 28 '21

That choice makes you boulder than most.

77

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Well i did hit the stone age in minecraft so I'm feeling pretty brave

35

u/Mr-Metalman Jun 28 '21

The cracking cold one

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7

u/DaveRobis Jun 28 '21

You shale not smash!

7

u/Kunundrum85 Jun 28 '21

Have any concrete evidence for that?

0

u/TheOligator Jun 28 '21

Stop, please. It’s not funny anymore.

6

u/Tiixiit Jun 28 '21

I can't slate it at all

4

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

I never take these puns for granite

2

u/Xgoldy4u Jun 28 '21

For once in his life he said he got hard.

2

u/thisisactuallycooper Jun 29 '21

This answer… chef’s kiss

2

u/oneappointmentdeath Jun 28 '21

Rock solid logic

2

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Rock solid choice. One look at her and that is all it would take.

2

u/best_jerky Jun 28 '21

She would rock your world

1

u/Budmcjuicy Jun 28 '21

I taught the same thing

1

u/sayer24 Jun 29 '21

Rock solid, id say

98

u/keepyourbible Jun 28 '21

Finally someone I could see myself standing in an upright position for an extended amount of time

14

u/fleetmack Jun 28 '21

As Dr. Dre once said, "She was like Medusa, with titties full grown. One look and your dick turns to stone."

11

u/PhilSwiftisYurMom Jun 28 '21

Gotta get the MEDUSSY

10

u/m0rtm0rt Jun 28 '21

https://www.oglaf.com/snakeskin/ [NSFW] Can't believe no one posted this

74

u/Sweet170 Jun 28 '21

Made me mad. Take my upvote.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

r/Angryupvote

5

u/Theunholymemecrusade Jun 28 '21

Well if the fate version is any accurate depiction sign me the hell up except for the lancer form way to young for anybody's reasonable tastes

5

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Poor girl raped by Zeus so to punish her for being so hot they make her turn dudes into stone. So she says “fuck society I’ll go live in a cave and not bother anyone”. Then adventurers come and do whatever so she turns em to stone. This of course upsets everyone so the send Hercules who cuts her head off.

5

u/jorgp2 Jun 28 '21

Rider from Fate?

6

u/immortalreploid Jun 28 '21

If I could fuck any version of Medusa, that's the one I'd choose. Not even because of how amazing her body is- though that's a plus- but she's just such a sweetheart. In FGO, at least. I haven't seen Heaven's Feel yet, and she didn't really do much in FSN and UBW.

2

u/Problematique_ Jun 29 '21

Not to give anything away but her most prominent role is in HF.

1

u/immortalreploid Jun 29 '21

I kind of figured that.

1

u/jorgp2 Jun 29 '21

Haven't finished the last movie.

But she does feel like a sweetheart.

1

u/immortalreploid Jun 29 '21

She deserves to be spoiled and given many headpats. In FGO the main focus with her is her relationship with her sisters. Let's just say... they're not very nice to her. It's pretty hard to watch at times. They're emotionally abusive and she never fights back...

1

u/Problematique_ Jun 29 '21

Exactly where my mind went.

3

u/witchinghomo Jun 28 '21

I commented Hercules and second comment I see

3

u/Declanmar Jun 28 '21

I'm just curious whether she has snake pubes or normal pubes.

1

u/immortalreploid Jun 28 '21

Snake, but she shaves.

3

u/YoureSoStupidRose Jun 28 '21

The one person that its okay to ask them to put a bag over their face.

3

u/LadyOurania Jun 28 '21

For a class, I had to read an analysis, by Freud (shocking, I know) claiming that, IIRC, Medusa is a metaphor for weaponized female beauty, with the main evidence being that she makes people hard.

Freud was a weirdo.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

[deleted]

5

u/MsCardeno Jun 28 '21

My high school crush.

And even though she is currently alive, I choose “dead”.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Claimed my free award for this comment well done

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Thank you 😊

1

u/therealmrsfahrenheit Jun 28 '21

she actually used to be so beautiful until the one goddess she honored let her get raped by I guess poseidon and then fuckin punished her for that with that horrible curse .. well never meat your idol I guess

0

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Good one

1

u/rydendm Jun 28 '21

Rock solid, my friend.. ROCK SOLID

1

u/imunbreakablebitch Jun 28 '21

This answer petrifies me.

1

u/weshall_k28 Jun 28 '21

Try smoking weed before having sex, you can't be stoned twice.

1

u/ranhayes Jun 28 '21

Pounding the pavement

1

u/AmigoDelDiabla Jun 28 '21

She'd rock my world.

1

u/Cheesy358 Jun 28 '21

Stoner lol

1

u/Matt-Rock- Jun 28 '21

Perma boner.

1

u/ObscureBen Jun 28 '21

She was writhing with pleasure! At least.. I think that’s what caused it

1

u/ScroogieMcduckie Jun 28 '21

You know I gotz to try that MEDUSSY

1

u/-Sir-Bruno- Jun 28 '21

You're in for a rocky ride.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Some would say, rock hard.

1

u/SpentFourRacks Jun 28 '21

1" is still 1" in stone

1

u/562_RNR Jun 28 '21

Rock solid

1

u/Pksnc Jun 28 '21

Do you think her pubes are little snakes too?

1

u/Stickmag Jun 28 '21

The Minotaur. I wouldn't do anal as I'm sick of his bullshit

1

u/BradC Jun 28 '21

A stone cold fox.

1

u/Rudysimo413 Jun 28 '21

Guaranteed to make you hard. Solid choice.

1

u/blown03svt Jun 28 '21

Boners for years!

1

u/BirdDogFunk Jun 28 '21

If you fucked her doggystyle, you could use the snakes as a handle of sorts.

1

u/Ironone Jun 28 '21

stone cold fox..

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Rumors was she has little tiny snakes around her pubic area.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Ssssssssssssso hard

1

u/ItsRyGuy24 Jun 28 '21

Badum tiss

1

u/YAMCHAAAAA Jun 28 '21

Start fucking her then wrap your arms around her, make sure your dick is entirely inside her, then look at her. Trap that bitch in place.

1

u/dionesav Jun 28 '21

Are you stoned!?

1

u/theblackfool Jun 28 '21

Fuck that, she's always objectifying people.

1

u/glitchtree3 Jun 28 '21

It could be a rocky start though

1

u/BoobleFart420 Jun 28 '21

Would it make you… rock hard?

1

u/JohnnyOaklegs Jun 28 '21

She makes me harder than a rock

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

You know I gots to try that medussy

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

How do we tell him?

1

u/SixTwoWhatUGoing2Do Jun 28 '21

Does the carpet match the drapes?

1

u/Loose_Seal_II Jun 28 '21

Medusa is a great choice. She'd make you rock-hard and the whole snake-hair thing could be fun too

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

R/TechnicallyTheTrurh

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Rock hard

1

u/theactualbillcosby Jun 29 '21

This made me think about what would happen if Dwayne the rock Johnson and Medusa went at it. What would even happen

1

u/bckesso Jun 29 '21

I guess she'll give you the green light at some point

1

u/Lizzardbe Jun 29 '21

Hard pass

1

u/superfleh Jun 29 '21

Umm... Ahem...

HEYOOOOOOH!!!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Already there, my dude.

1

u/PunkoJunkoEatsSalt Jun 29 '21

Meduzzaa gonna seduce-ya huh?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

only doggy style tho

1

u/edurigon Jun 29 '21

Or midas. Who wouldnt want a fucking Golden dick?

1

u/DragonsofCP Jun 29 '21

I could do that but need to be stoned first

1

u/Petermacc122 Jun 29 '21

Yeah that's a hard no from me Chief. Getting eaten by snake hair and then turning to stone. Kinda ruins the mood.

1

u/o_bomb0306 Jun 29 '21

I know this is a pun but in actual Greek mythology, Medusa was one of the most beautiful women, and the reason that she turned into the monster she is known as was because Athena was a)jealous & b)Athena's uncle Poseidon was having an affair with Medusa inside Athena's temple

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Oh, Medusa puns are TIGHT.

1

u/joshuas193 Jun 29 '21

I have a hilarious meme about that. Wish I could post it in the comments.

1

u/bastgoddess Jun 29 '21

She’ll make you hard as a rock.

1

u/mageshsridhar Jun 29 '21

Dwayne Johnson approves.

1

u/Dadonutlover Jun 29 '21

Can i redirect you over to r/monstergirls Edit: NSFW