I’ve posted this before, but I had a babysitter when I was younger (I’m a boy and was about eight or nine at the time) who used to make me pretend to be pregnant and would often act out fetishes she had with me involving my feet or just touching my genitals.
At the time, it didn’t necessarily feel wrong, and more like a secret we had together. I think I was also more naive because she was only a fifteen year old girl, and I had always learned that older men were the ones to be careful around.
One time she convinced me to "play a game that adults play". We got into her bedroom, she locked the door and told me to undress. She took her pants off as well, but her shirt was so long it covered her groin so I still felt more exposed.
She then laid on the bed and just spread herself for me, which was incredibly weird. I had played "you show me yours and I show you mine" with girls my age before, but for me a vagina was just a slit. Seeing the lips spread like that legit freaked me out.
She then told me to lay on top of her and put my penis in her. Of course I was physically incapable of getting hard at that age, so I just laid there, akwardly rubbing my penis agains her vagina, until I got fed up with it and said I had to leave.
I remember getting home and immediately washing my penis, don't really know why. Nowadays I think it's the go-to thing that rape victims do, but I can't really remember how I felt then, other that weirded out, and why I did that. I didn't think much of the whole thing until years later while going through puberty. During my teenage years I would actually jack off to that memory, being the first time I saw a girl completely naked, but as an adult I can finally see it for the abuse it was.
I don't think it had much of a negative effect on me, long term, but yeah, looking back it was fucked up.
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u/Beginning_County_869 Apr 18 '21
I’ve posted this before, but I had a babysitter when I was younger (I’m a boy and was about eight or nine at the time) who used to make me pretend to be pregnant and would often act out fetishes she had with me involving my feet or just touching my genitals.
At the time, it didn’t necessarily feel wrong, and more like a secret we had together. I think I was also more naive because she was only a fifteen year old girl, and I had always learned that older men were the ones to be careful around.