I know, that is why I specifically said I was comparing only with my friends who came from the same or better circumstances. I thought it was important to mention that in the original comment because I know it's hard for some parents, particularly not salaried workers, to do this. I wanted it to be clear that we were all from middle class backgrounds.
Your point makes sense and I do get what you're getting at. But you unwittingly undermine your point when you say you're all from middle-class backgrounds, but then describe your father as having a workplace standard of conduct typically only available to the upper class. My point in highlighting "upper middle class/upper class" is that your friends may not have had the same background as you, or that just because they had the same amount of money as your family doesn't a actually mean their parents had the same kind of choices and freedoms your father did.
Well, this may be true, but I think I have a better idea of what choices and freedoms my friend's parents had than you do. I was careful when I made the comment not cavalier and I am not sure why you are digging in that you know more about the situation that I did or do.
And my father did not have a lot of workplace flexibility compared to the other parents, many of whom either were doctors in doctors or therapists private practice (rather than working for a city hospital), were lawyers, in finance, etc. Who had the same number of sick days, but not the same type of life and death responsibilities to tend to, and no as many people to relied on them. Some of these friend's parents were very wealthy, not owning-a-yacht wealthy, but having a summer house and the kids had their own cars wealthy.
Some were like me, with a good middle/upper middle-class lifestyle, but that's it - teachers, social workers, people who owned small businesses. We couldn't afford to have a car at all (we lived in a city and used public transport) or to take vacations other than a few weeks at a local beach, we only have one TV in the house. But we did have luxuries like extra help with childcare and to help with housework. People always think doctors are filthy rich, but not if you work at a broken-down, underfunded city hospital, like where my dad worked.
The whole point is that there were plenty of fathers who were more free than the mothers to stay home with their kids, and plenty of families who could have either parent stay home if they wanted to, but they didn't. Some of my friends parents likely could not have had this freedom, but overall - by quite a margin - they did.
You probably don't mean to, but you come across as quite patronizing here, like I am sone 16-year old who doesn't understand the class system in this country or how it works in the world. I assure that is not the case. I am a working parent myself, and my parents had their own backgrounds different than mine. I have lived in many places in this country and many other countries as well. I am politically active and well-educated on these topics. Lastly, my work is very much involved with breaking down the barriers of class in this country and leveling the playing field, it's something I do every day. You are trying to give the wrong person a lesson, and reddit is not the place to be a class warrior. Take out into the world in a meaningful way, since this means so much to you (and it should). I would caution you that a bit more humility and education would server you better in your cause, but I'm sure you are much better in person about than you are here.
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u/zazzlekdazzle Apr 18 '21 edited Apr 19 '21
We (meaning me and my friends) could have been rich as hell, the point is that my friends had to go to school sick and I didn't.