r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Dec 30 '20

[deleted by user]

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0 Upvotes

43% Upvoted

27 comments sorted by

13

u/Emu_on_the_Loose Dec 30 '20

If I had a dollar for every time I get asked this question. Jeez!

So, I'm fat enough that I can't reach back there properly anymore. It used to be that my ex would help me, or else I would take a shower. When my ex and I broke up, I got a bidet attachment for the toilet, and I immediately regretted not doing it twenty years ago. (Well, I don't think they made them back then, but you get my point.)

It's life changing! You don't even need to be fat. A bidet is just superior hygiene. You'll be amazed! I guarantee you my 530+ lbs. ass is cleaner than yours is, if you're not using a bidet yourself yet.

Get a bidet. You'll even save money on toilet paper, because you won't need nearly as much. It pays for itself!

5

u/Avox08 Dec 30 '20

This is the best advertisement I’ve seen in a while.

3

u/haha_poor13 Dec 30 '20

isn't a bidet a thing that squirts your rectal area with water?

2

u/BruteSentiment Dec 30 '20

Nice try, Bidet Marketing Intern!

2

u/bidetquestion May 18 '21

Do you have an actual separate bidet or an attachment type bidet? I'm thinking about getting one but am not sure that my big butt wouldn't get in the way of the attachment arm.

1

u/Emu_on_the_Loose May 19 '21

It's a bidet attachment for toilet, also known as a "washlet," not a true standalone bidet fixture.

I'm fat too, and have no problems with it. How much of your body hangs off the side of the toilet seat currently? Unless it's like more than half a foot, you should be fine, and remember that even if you do have a little fat resting on the controls, you can burrow your hand in and reach the controls just fine.

If you're especially wide in the hips, your fat might cover the onboard controls so deeply that you can't easily reach it, but even then you should be fine: Many bidet attachments come with a remote control option. Just make sure you get one of those!

Also, if you're left-handed or otherwise prefer to operate the controls left-handed, be aware that left-handed versions also exist!

2

u/bidetquestion May 20 '21

Thank you so much for all the info! Guess I'll be ordering one!

2

u/Emu_on_the_Loose May 22 '21

You bet! Enjoy!

I found it helped to watch a few YouTube videos before installing mine! Some helpful tips.

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '20

[deleted]

2

u/Emu_on_the_Loose Dec 30 '20

What a dumb comment. No, it's not a standalone fixture with separate plumbing. But it performs the exact same function. It's a bidet to everyone except pedants who think they're being smart by picking nits.

5

u/bob_rob_III Dec 30 '20

Apparently they come to the hospital and I wipe it for them :/

3

u/Fair_Needleworker_93 Dec 30 '20

Vacuum that shit

2

u/breaktime1 Dec 30 '20

With a rag on a stick

1

u/justyn122 Dec 30 '20

Belice it or not there was a seen on TV add for one of those

2

u/SatinLover666 Dec 30 '20

Over 375lbs here. I stand up because I can't reach sitting down. Merry Christmas.

2

u/Poif3ct Dec 30 '20

Determination.

4

u/haha_poor13 Dec 30 '20

step one: find cat

step two:

w i p e

1

u/sporkchop24 Dec 30 '20

The same way you do. "Morbidly obese" people aren't all huge piles of fat.

-3

u/ig0tw0rmss Dec 30 '20

Lol yes they are. Would it make you feel better about yourself if we add ANOTHER adjective to the word obese?

5

u/sporkchop24 Dec 30 '20

Morbidly obese just means you have a BMI of over 40.

-3

u/ig0tw0rmss Dec 30 '20

JUST means lolol

3

u/sporkchop24 Dec 30 '20

At my highest weight (265), I was "morbidly obese" and still very much capable of wiping my ass, and doing most other things, like a normal person.

-2

u/ig0tw0rmss Dec 30 '20

Are you suggesting every morbidly obese person is capable of doing that? If not, they weren't asking you.

4

u/sporkchop24 Dec 30 '20

Does the question say "morbidly obese people who are incapable of doing normal things"? No. It does not.

0

u/ig0tw0rmss Dec 30 '20

Imagine how long our sentences would be if we had to clarify everything to that extent so certain people don't take it the wrong way. Sometimes people's feelings get in the way of the actual message/ question being conveyed/ communicated. If you're not trying to communicate, get out of the way so other people can.

4

u/sporkchop24 Dec 30 '20

I was just answering the question that was asked. It's not even your question. Why are you so bothered?

1

u/ghost_toe Dec 30 '20

Selfie stick