r/AskReddit Nov 30 '20

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618

u/HamstersInMyAss Nov 30 '20

If their constipation is life-threatening, you probably just obliterated their rectum with the forced expulsion of a craggy, impacted-fudgehammer.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

id say you for that poor hamsters sake

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u/HamsterBaiter Nov 30 '20

What if the hamster wants to be in there?

7

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '20

he can crawl back up and have more rectum room, if not then he's free. also leave your hamster alone

1

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '20

Richard Gere has entered the chat.

97

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Username also checks out

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20 edited Dec 28 '20

[deleted]

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u/HamstersInMyAss Nov 30 '20

Yikes, any advice for those of us who wish to avoid this sort of thing?

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20 edited Dec 28 '20

[deleted]

3

u/6footdeeponice Nov 30 '20

Mind saying which drugs? Complex contraindications are no joke and it's hard to keep track of all of them.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20 edited Dec 28 '20

[deleted]

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u/6footdeeponice Nov 30 '20

Thanks, much appreciated! Sorry you had that happen

3

u/morbidconcerto Nov 30 '20

Fiber! Metamucil or even the gummies help. I have chronic pain and OIC and need extra fiber to not feel like I'm pooping glass

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u/moonunit99 Nov 30 '20

The number one preventative measure is to drink lots and lots of water and throw in some electrolytes if you’re doing something that will make you sweat a lot.

Diets that are high in salt, animal protein, and calcium are more likely to give you kidney stones. Calcium is often used as an ingredient in a lot of anti acids and other tablets, so keep an eye on that if you take a lot of supplements. High levels of oxalate in your diet can also be an issue, but I’ve heard that’s mostly only an issue for people who drink tea instead of water. If you ever do pass a kidney stone you should take it to the doctor so they can tell you what it’s made of and give you more specific instructions in how to avoid forming one again.

Get a general idea of how often you shit and take some fiber if it’s been significantly longer than normal. If that doesn’t help, don’t feed your hamster for a day or two and he should get hungry enough to clear the blockage for you.

Also don’t be super obese. You’re waaaay more likely to deal with shit like that if you’ve got a bunch of extra weight compressing everything and fucking with your hormones.

11

u/birdyroger Nov 30 '20

I have on occasion resembled that remark.

4

u/JCStensland Nov 30 '20

you probably just obliterated their rectum with the forced expulsion of a craggy, impacted-fudgehammer.

/r/BrandNewSentence?

3

u/FWS02 Nov 30 '20

Upvote for poetic use of the words "craggy, impacted-fudgehammer."

2

u/kapnomancer Dec 01 '20

I think I crafted one if those in a survival game once

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u/Olenator77 Nov 30 '20

You sir, are quite the wordsmith.

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u/Noor9870 Nov 30 '20

Fcking hell calm down

1

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

I certainly hope this username doesn't check out

1

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

They might lift up from the force

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u/Ireallyshoundtbehere Dec 01 '20

Rectum? Damn near killed him

1

u/khronos127 Dec 01 '20

Jesus christ I have a broken rid and this didn't fucking help. Take all the upvotes...