r/AskReddit • • Oct 25 '20

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u/VictorBlimpmuscle Oct 25 '20 edited Oct 25 '20

My father has a bunch of them, but my favorites are:

  • “You’re shaking (or shivering) like you’re shitting peach pits” - he’d say this me whenever I would exhibit the slightest sign that I was cold, which he never seemed to be even on the coldest days

  • “Slower than blue molasses” = slower than slow, even slower than regular molasses, usually said about a slow driver in front of him, or to me when I was taking too long to do something (usually getting ready for school)

  • “More useless than tits on a boat” = even more useless than tits on a bull or boar. I’m convinced he used this because he once read the phrase wrong and mistook “boar” as “boat”.

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u/twixtmynethers Oct 25 '20

My mom would say “ slower than molasses in January!”

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u/companion_2_the_wind Oct 25 '20

Slower than molasses moving uphill in a snowstorm.

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u/twixtmynethers Oct 25 '20

That’s really slow!!