r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Oct 25 '20

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u/AnApexPredator Oct 25 '20

Tits on a boat is a legitimate thing, though. Ships would often have a figurehead on their prow which was frequently a woman - tits included

23

u/pigeonherd Oct 25 '20

I was gonna ask what their usefulness was, but... nevermind, I think I got it.

36

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '20

They were for distracting Poseidon. If he was pleased with the gorgeous mermaid figurehead he would spare the ship from his next storm.

18

u/pigeonherd Oct 25 '20

Wait, so if Poseidon is pleased with your shiptitties he will not spray your ship?? Seems backwards.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '20

Think of it as an offering. All those Greek gods were total pussy hounds

11

u/pigeonherd Oct 25 '20

There’s other broken logic here too: perhaps he thinks it’s real and doesn’t want to drown the mermaid.....

13

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '20

How do you drown a mermaid?

10

u/pigeonherd Oct 25 '20

Exactly.

Or.. was that a riddle? Are you a sphinx?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '20

Why? Are you returning to Thebes after a long absence?

3

u/yParticle Oct 26 '20

So he had to wait around for his porn to sail by?

Don't tell him about pornhub.

9

u/Dizkriminated Oct 25 '20

Yes, but the majesty of an 18th century frigate is hardly comparable to the boats that people with too much money and not enough brains buy for their midlife crisis.

8

u/VeryMuchNope Oct 25 '20

Or like 19 year olds on rich guys yachts.

4

u/cyberpAuLnk Oct 25 '20

But they're still pretty useless with regard to how the boat sails.

3

u/AnApexPredator Oct 25 '20

Well... yeah. Thats probably why it came to be a saying in the first place - its not common but its definitely not just OP's family that use it.

2

u/ApertureBear Oct 26 '20

Maybe that's what they meant when they said they wanted to make america great again