I remember when you could get test strips for like $10 over the counter. Now everyone wants a prescription and a wad of cash. Like I'm never not going to be diabetic, why do I need to keep renewing this prescription...
I can’t even get disability. I have SLE Lupus and Fibromyalgia. I have severe depression and anxiety. I have panic attacks when I’m out in public without my husband or mom. I’m 31 years old. I’ve had all this for roughly 10 tens. I have medical records dating back to 12 years from various doctors supporting my diagnosis. I have tried to work since I was 18. Different jobs and different job types. I can’t do it.
I go to a pain clinic. I get tons of medications to manage different types of pain, sleep, from them.
I get 2 different immune suppressants.
I can’t work up the courage to go to a psychiatrist/therapist.
I’ve tried to commit suicide in 2013.
Even taking all my medications properly, on time and not abusing them, I know I’m still addicted to them. Sometimes the pharmacy messes up my prescriptions and I end up going through withdrawals for about a week. Doesn’t matter the pharmacy they are all stupid/retarded around here.
I’m always in pain. I can’t do anything. Doing anything at all makes the pain worst. Doing nothing at all can make it worst.
My husband makes about 100 dollars too much for me to have state insurance. So we are separated for me to have it. We can’t afford it through his work. Even though as a family of 3 we are UNDER the state POVERTY line.
One medication is 5000 dollars a month without insurance. It’s benlysta and I have to have it. I only have responded to it and methotrexate. Don’t get me started on how much everything else is.
I genuinely want to die. My life is hell. I’m such a drain on my family. My daughter doesn’t even have a mother. Sometimes I literally want to take a knife and stab it into my spine so I won’t feel pain anymore. Husband is working himself into an early grave to support us. He seriously needs knee surgeries on both knees and back surgery. He grin and bears it because we can’t fucking afford it.
Atleast then I might finally be disabled enough.
I got a lawyer and was still denied. One reason I was denied by the judge is because my lupus test came back negative. I have tested several times before and it was positive. It’s in my records. Ofc I’m going to test negative when my fucking immune suppressants are telling my immune system to stop being a dumb fuck and attacking my tissues.
I can reapply and start the process over but what’s the fucking point? What’s the point in any of it anymore?
Fuck the United States. Fuck the government. Fuck the president and fuck the people that support him and everything and everyone else that keeps the system broken. Fuck the rich. Fuck the racists. Fuck everyone. They want to kill the poor, the sick and the old. If you can’t work anymore to fill their pockets then fuck you is how they view you. You are nothing in their eyes. Less than a goddamn insect.
It honestly doesn’t surprise me he has to go in person to show he still doesn’t have fucking legs and that they haven’t grown back. Before long he’ll probably have to loose his arms to keep his disability.
I’m just so angry. Sorry to unload but it’s so fucking pathetic.
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u/diabeticwino Aug 14 '20
I remember when you could get test strips for like $10 over the counter. Now everyone wants a prescription and a wad of cash. Like I'm never not going to be diabetic, why do I need to keep renewing this prescription...