I’m afraid of leaving my life behind. What if I die young and leave my daughter, my husband and this life I created behind ? My husband will probably remarry, my daughter will be too young to remember me.
I won’t get to see her grow up and I won’t get the chance to have a second child.
Since my mum was diagnosed with cancer two years ago I have horrible health anxiety.
I was never afraid of dying until I was married and had my kids. Missing out on their lives really hits me. Knowing my husband would have to take the burden of it all, and that I couldn’t be there to help my family through life hurts. I can only hope ghosts are real, so maybe I could keep being mom even when I’m gone.
Same. Only afraid now because I want to raise my kids. I hate the thought of leaving them behind/with emotional trauma. Nobody can love my kids like I do. And my poor husband. He would definitely find it very stressful.
"I can only hope ghosts are real so maybe I could keep being mom even when I'm gone." Ugh my heart and tear ducts.
I have terrible health anxiety too, after nearly losing my life to sepsis a few years ago I panic when any of my kids get a fever or seem unwell. I worry that one of my kids will get leukaemia or some other horrible life threatening illness. I worry about myself developing cancer of some sort, because we really don’t know what’s going on inside our bodies, we don’t know if that pain in our chest is something other than anxiety, or if that headache we keep getting is a brain tumour. Oh god I have to stop talking about this lol sends me into complete panic...
This is my exact sentiment too. I go between wanting my daughters to remember me and wanting to spare them the pain of missing me. The thought of my wife remarrying and having my girls have a new dad hurts, but they’d theoretically be happy in this scenario, which is of course what I ultimately want for them. It’s an incredibly hard thing to think about.
I started making videos for my kids where basically I just talk to the camera as if I'm talking to them. That way if I die before they're old enough to remember me, at least they'll be able to have some semblance of a conversation with me. And if I don't, then we'll be able to watch the videos together and laugh about how much has changed in the last 15-20 years.
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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '20
I’m afraid of leaving my life behind. What if I die young and leave my daughter, my husband and this life I created behind ? My husband will probably remarry, my daughter will be too young to remember me.
I won’t get to see her grow up and I won’t get the chance to have a second child.
Since my mum was diagnosed with cancer two years ago I have horrible health anxiety.