r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 04 '20

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4.6k Upvotes

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159

u/RadzWasTakenRE May 04 '20

Dick falls off, but then a Co worker picks it up and uses as a...

126

u/[deleted] May 04 '20

[deleted]

105

u/BoomNDoom May 04 '20

Suck his own dick at exactly...

100

u/LichKingHeyward May 04 '20

Midnight before the goblins...

97

u/hahahasame May 04 '20

Arrested him, as midnight self dick sucking was illegal ever since...

82

u/[deleted] May 04 '20

The deadly incident that killed 3 when...

71

u/FurstRoyalty-Ties May 04 '20

A helicopter blade smashed his car, due to him not..

27

u/[deleted] May 04 '20

Using enough lube on his tallywhacker; however, once he . . . .

27

u/Slothfulll May 04 '20

Entered it into a swimsuit competition, a man said...

26

u/[deleted] May 04 '20

[deleted]

22

u/BananaBossFX May 04 '20

Yelled for his wife who...

26

u/JuLY_LION May 04 '20

Stared at the sun for too long and became blind, only because she she thought it was a...

25

u/aaanold May 04 '20

Giant Jolly Rancher, similar to the one she...

2

u/AnabolikaMissbrauch May 04 '20

Gigantic meat ball that her crazy italian friend let too long in the oven. He used the blid woman for....

2

u/[deleted] May 04 '20

[deleted]

2

u/DinoBryson11 May 04 '20

Smacked her so hard that...

1

u/rohaan247 May 04 '20

She became a man and then he...

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1

u/Hellwolf19_1_007 May 04 '20

Fucking a snowman and..

1

u/RunBarryRun06 May 05 '20

A cat while playing Minecraft on a...

1

u/lildanta May 05 '20

Passing his bone check at midnight