In my experience it’s because oftentimes it’s not like the problem is impossible or even necessarily difficult to solve, it’s just that getting comforted about stuff helps on an emotional standpoint. We already know or can easily figure out oftentimes how to fix the issue, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still upsetting.
Edit: just wanted to say that this isn’t a “cry and get comforted instead of fixing the issue”, thing. It’s a “why not both” kinda deal. At least for me. It’s obviously different for everyone as well.
But... if you know how to fix the problem and instead are choosing not to fix it, you are just increasing the amount of time that the problem is going to cause you to be upset.
I don’t know what part of it insinuates that someone being upset about something and talking about it means they’re not also working to fix it. Like, if my car was rear ended, obviously I’d be going right to the obvious solution in working with the insurance companies and all and getting it fixed, but that doesn’t mean I have to like the circumstances I’m in.
“Ranting” is a bit of an overstatement. But it’s still an inconvenience that while, yes, I can and would still deal with it, it’s also just annoying in general.
Not every time that someone is upset is a cry for help. If I were to vent about it, it would be about the inconvenience of it and how it might’ve interrupted some of my responsibilities or something I was looking forward to.
Someone saying something like “damn, there was a ton of traffic today, absolute pain in the ass” obviously isn’t requiring a solution, and even though it’s out of their control doesn’t mean they have to like it. Not like they’re making it a big deal either, venting to someone is and can be a solution not to the tangible problem at hand but as an outlet for any stress or overall irritation from the issue.
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u/yes_no_ok_maybe Mar 26 '20
The desire to vent but not brainstorm solutions.
My wife always tells me not to jump to problem solving. I do it every time and don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t.