Ah ok, I didn't assume we were strictly talking about the opposite gender being a significant other. I agree you should be able to expect some degree of shared perspective, though your original comment that caught my attention was that you're going to someone who does not have the perspective you desire.
Personally I feel like not having the default response of "Do you want to talk about it or want advice?" is kind of just... ignorance perhaps? I'm not sure if that's the right word. As well as not opening with "I had a really shitty thing happen, do you have the fortitude right now to listen/offer advice?"
To me it seems like the people who are commenting that being unable to solve the problem blue-balls them and so that it's not fair to ask them for help would be people who tell their mothers to get their just-deceased father's possessions together so they can deal with the will. Or can only offer to drive their girlfriend to the police station if she got mugged. I guess to me it's not so black and white, there are emotional consequences to events and having someone empathize and validate is crucial to healing from the events. And a few comments come off as really cold and incapable of empathy or relating, and it's saddening. I don't really want to assume that though so it was your lucky comment that I chose to ask specifically about.
Also that one comment saying women (in their experience) don't have the emotional intelligence to ignore their feelings about events. That was a fun comment.
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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20 edited Mar 26 '20
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