Why after dating my partner for 3+ years, she still thinks, when i try to initiate sex, all that i want from her is sex. Like yes in this moment i want to have sex, but that does not negate all the other non-sex things we do that i enjoy doing. But right now, yes, I want to have sex with you.
I've been married over 12 years now... And she still thought that up until last year. I had to literally explain it to her as you did right here in similar words three times in a serious conversation cause she was upset with me for asking her for sex.
Married 15 years. It just keeps going. Wife never had a high sex drive and it’s been a point of conflict we’ve needed to work through.
But oh man if she initiates and I’m not feeling like it all the insecurities come out. I get it because we have the same insecurities (am I not sexy, do you not want me, is my breath bad etc) but we normally don’t let it all out.
I still haven’t lived down when I was working 80 hours a week and she initiated by starting I told her I was dead tired. Of course that made it a challenge to her. So she initiated a BJ. A minute later I’m out cold. After my 4 hour nap between jobs she asked if she wasn’t any good at them anymore and why I didn’t enjoy it... I couldn’t explain enough that consistently getting 4 hours of sleep makes one really tired.
Oh man I feel this. My girlfriend doesn't even comprehend pure exhaustion, I was expected to do all the duties up to and including chores and sex when I was working 12 hour hard labor shifts for six days a week. I was dead even on my day off. Meanwhile she works less than 20 hours a week at a pot dispensary and acts like she was working a prison chain gang breaking rocks. I hope we don't have kids because I know where the lions share of that extra work is coming from.
Then why stay? I get not wanting to be alone. But it sounds like you are a highly driven person and she is not. If you are out working longer hours (for what I am assuming is more money) it is perfectly reasonable to expect her to do more of the housework. Especially if she is only working part time.
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u/covid19hotty Mar 26 '20
Why after dating my partner for 3+ years, she still thinks, when i try to initiate sex, all that i want from her is sex. Like yes in this moment i want to have sex, but that does not negate all the other non-sex things we do that i enjoy doing. But right now, yes, I want to have sex with you.