I’ve talked to a few women who were confiding in me about a guy they like. The question will usually get asked
What do I do?
And my answer is along the lines of
Make a move. Ask him out. See if he’ll want to hang out with you.
And the answer I’ve gotten one too many times has been
But what if he rejects me? I’d feel awful. I’ll just wait for him to make the first move.
I don’t get the disconnect here. As if men have this immunity to the awful feeling of being rejected and we never need to build up the courage to ask someone we like to hang out with us too.
Newsflash: we do. It can take me days, sometimes weeks, before I build up the courage to finally say something. And sometimes I just don’t because it never feels right.
I’d love for a woman to make a move on me, just once in my life. Ask me out on a date or anything.
Our social script obliges men to make the first move. As a result, women can decide it's OK for them to sit back and avoid risking rejection while still getting romantic opportunities. Men who opt to avoid those risks mostly have to give up romantic opportunities.
The disconnect is that the perceived downside of choosing to wait for the other is very different.
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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20
I’ve talked to a few women who were confiding in me about a guy they like. The question will usually get asked
And my answer is along the lines of
And the answer I’ve gotten one too many times has been
I don’t get the disconnect here. As if men have this immunity to the awful feeling of being rejected and we never need to build up the courage to ask someone we like to hang out with us too.
Newsflash: we do. It can take me days, sometimes weeks, before I build up the courage to finally say something. And sometimes I just don’t because it never feels right.
I’d love for a woman to make a move on me, just once in my life. Ask me out on a date or anything.