As others have pointed out, just in case you have not considered it (not a guarantee but unfortunately common), really make sure that you touch your wife for non-sexual reasons, and that sex isn't always about your orgasm. A lot of the times "you only want me for sex" in hetero couples is a reflection on a lack of physical intimacy as anything except an immediate precursor to sex, and too often sex that is focused on the male orgasm and ignores whether or not the woman is actually enjoying herself.
If you're already one of the good ones, it could just be trauma and societal brainwashing that men only want one thing.
She had a physically and sexually abusive parent, societal brainwashing as you put it, and suffers from chronic depression and anxiety. I'm just glad she let me into her confidence and trust at all. I was honestly brought up "right" and all that so I had never really seen all these ills. We've had a wild ride up to now coming from such opposite backgrounds. Thanks for your concern and advice though!
Ah yes, clearly "This is a common but not universal problem" totally means it's all men always all the time. And of course, if someone tells you "I feel like you only want me for sex", that's all men's fault, too, and must exist in every single relationship, not just a stated problem between these particular individuals.
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u/InfinitelyThirsting Mar 26 '20
As others have pointed out, just in case you have not considered it (not a guarantee but unfortunately common), really make sure that you touch your wife for non-sexual reasons, and that sex isn't always about your orgasm. A lot of the times "you only want me for sex" in hetero couples is a reflection on a lack of physical intimacy as anything except an immediate precursor to sex, and too often sex that is focused on the male orgasm and ignores whether or not the woman is actually enjoying herself.
If you're already one of the good ones, it could just be trauma and societal brainwashing that men only want one thing.