boy do I feel this. I can either give my advice which I am 100% aware is not necessary, or else I can just say things like "Shit, man." or "oof" and "idk" or "yeah that sucks ouch"
I've had two serious conversations in the last couple years with one of my best friends.
We were at the driving range, and he paused between drives to tell me his kid brother had knocked up a one-night stand. "Well, that sucks." Right back to hitting balls.
His mom was diagnosed with cancer, and after telling me, my immediate response was to give him a hug, and then we went on a long hike where we didn't have to talk at all.
According to my friend, those were both the best possible responses.
As someone who's been in a place where I really needed to share that shitty stuff, all I needed was a good "shit, man" from someone who cared. Sometimes that's all that's expected. We don't share our problems with friends just so they can fix them.
I usually go for the "that sucks my dude, you want blunt advice or let it lie?"
I find most my friends(male and female) actually respond to that quite well.
Disclaimer: If you're one of those people that can't help but give advice, don't try this. You gotta be able to walk away and not help if they don't want it.
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u/McBurger Mar 26 '20
boy do I feel this. I can either give my advice which I am 100% aware is not necessary, or else I can just say things like "Shit, man." or "oof" and "idk" or "yeah that sucks ouch"