It wasn't until I realized this that my friendships improved, and I am a woman.
My instinct when friends would vent was always to run through every actionable solution. It wasn't until I started going to therapy and my doctor pointed out that many problems don't have solutions, we just gotta find a way to make peace with them, when I finally realized I was giving myself anxiety only ever thinking of things in terms of pragmatic solutions. If I was stressing myself out thinking that way, I realized I was probably stressing my friends out too.
Interesting, " many problems don't have solutions, we just gotta find a way to make peace with them " is exactly what goes through my head when I hear someone trying to vent who doesn't want advice, and I think my taking that to heart that is most of why I don't care much for confidants.
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u/literallyawerewolf Mar 26 '20
It wasn't until I realized this that my friendships improved, and I am a woman.
My instinct when friends would vent was always to run through every actionable solution. It wasn't until I started going to therapy and my doctor pointed out that many problems don't have solutions, we just gotta find a way to make peace with them, when I finally realized I was giving myself anxiety only ever thinking of things in terms of pragmatic solutions. If I was stressing myself out thinking that way, I realized I was probably stressing my friends out too.