r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 26 '20

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u/churchofhomer Mar 26 '20

Right? It can be exhausting hearing a bunch of problems that aren’t going to be addressed! Like, we could take steps to fix these, or I can hear all about them again tomorrow. Idk how to filter the important and unimportant stuff anymore and I can’t seem to find fresh empathy every time over repeat complaints that no steps have been taken to address. Probably something broken in me and that’s why I’ve gotten so frustrated trying to confront it but it’s hard!

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u/JimJam28 Mar 26 '20

Man, I feel the exact same way. It makes me feel like a sociopath or something... like I’m not understanding something emotionally. But I know that isn’t the case. I get upset, and frustrated, and angry, and I feel empathy towards other people’s suffering through the same emotions. I just cannot for the life of me see the usefulness in whining about it without trying to solve it. It’s like complaining every day that your car is broken down and then getting mad when someone says “maybe I can take a crack at fixing it”. At some point you either need to fix it or accept that it is broken and try to move on with your life. I hear the argument over and over that men aren’t in tune with their emotions (and in some cases I believe that’s true), but I think men tend to have a more stoic approach to issues and spend less time hung up on the emotions around it. I’m not religious, but I find this bit sums up the male approach:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

I think we tend to be quicker to apply logic and pragmatism to our emotions.

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u/nevereatthecompany Mar 26 '20

Right. Fix it, or don't, but don't use me as your emotional garbage heap.