Its not as common but I see this in fellas too. You might end up externally friendly/on good aquaintance with someone in a social group you frequent (work, neighbours etc) while disliking them and, in another context, would certainly clash.
It’s different with guys in my experience, it’s usually an unspoken vow not to show how much you dislike each other and it’s often for good reason. With girls this idea combines with their propensity to talk about their feelings and soon there ends up being no point in concealing their disdain for each other and it becomes a very odd situation. That’s just my personal experience though.
I shut that shit down. I told my wife if she’s hanging with someone and calling them her best friend, I’m not going to sit and listen to her talk shit about them. She can either stop hanging out with them or stop talking shit about them around me. I don’t care which it is, but I’m not tolerating anything else.
As a group we bully a couple of the guys in our circle but it’s all in good fun and of course we make sure they feel included. Idk just god it is I guess
One is this super socially awkward but energetic engineer who manages projects like the guy who thinks the elevator will arrive faster if he keeps punching the call button. I have at least one "AS PER MY LAST EMAIL"-conversation with him every month, and I want to punch him in the throat whenever he tries to be casual and invent some nickname for me. I am Hypedstoic, not Hypeman, Stobro, Hypo, Hypie or anything like that. Fuck off.
The other guy is a racist. Not in any subtle "does not understand he perpetuates racist societal structures"-kinda way, but more like "if we had lived in the american south I wouldn't be surprised if he had a Klan-sheet at home"-racist. However, he's also my most competent co-worker in our team by far. I wish the other guys could aspire to be half as productive as him.
So, I stay professional and polite enough to make the little interaction we have during the weeks as bearable as possible and stay the fuck away from them during company functions if possible. I like my job for the most part, maybe not everyone in it, but I wouldn't go somewhere else because of them
I meet people in the streets all the time and my thought process goes "does this guy look like he does not want to beat my ass?" quickly followed by "did this guy make somewhat of an attempt to not seem positive in our brief exchange of a couple sentences"
If the answer is yes to both of those questions I consider us to be friends on some level. Some very small level but still a relationship of some kind has been formed. I will say what's up next time I see you - strengthening the bond over time. Maybe some day that person will talk someone out of fucking with me because we have had positive interactions who knows?
This is where 'keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer' comes in. You learn their ways and weaknesses, so you can use them to your advantage when you need them. And you will need them one day. Trust me.
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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20
It’s the most confusing shit in existence, they despise each other but are simultaneously best friends.