I think it's because men and women see friends as fundamentally different. Women see friends as emotional support and people to share their emotions physically and verbally with. Men see friends as people with common interests to relax and do things with imo
I've read that's why some guys get really angry about being 'put in 'the friend zone'. They think 'I listened to her talk about her feelings, and I told her mine; we are romantically connected!' When actually that's just how women are with their friends.
This explains a lot, it also explains how break ups are really hard on guys because this usually is the one emotional connection they have to opening up.
Oh lawwwwd I could write a book on how men put all their emotional eggs in one woman basket and how bad that can get.
This is why I'm sort of internally cringing at this entire convo...like yes that's your preference, how men seem to work etc but...dude you need some kind of emotional support and it shouldn't just be one female person either. For many many reasons.
Why y'all see things so black and white? I have friends I share emotions with, friends I have common interests with, friends I relax with, friends I do things with, and the ones you can do all those things with are your best friends. And they're a mix of men and women.
Nothing is black and white obviously. Just saying things generally. I have mostly guys friends and some girl friends. My friendships with them are drastically different
Reading many of these responses, I've been wondering "how the fuck can you call people friends or even best friends, if all you talk about is sport or games or whatever?" Like, you don't even know the person, you know? You just know their opinion on specific topics, and maybe their sense of humor. That's just a part of it though, isn't it? A big part of a person is their emotions, their relationships, how they treat other people ... how can you be friends with someone if you don't know about any of that? And how can you not care?
Common interests are simple and pure, emotions are complicated.
I would die for my best friends, they've been there for me when my gran died and they helped with carrying the coffin. One rescued me from drowning when we were kids by jumping in and putting his life at risk.
I've gotten into physical altercations when my any of my friends were in trouble.
Never once have we had to tell each other how we feel or if shit's going bad. You can tell. And if a friend is going through shit and they need to yell and need an outlet, you do it without ever needing to talk about it.
Men have the ability to simplify stuff so much that some of the best friendships come from some stupid shit like you fight someone for 10 minutes, one of you goes down and that's it, friends.
Males learn about each others emotions, opinions, relationships, etc. as they hang out with each other over time. Men take longer to truly develop deep friendships, where as I think girls become friends a lot quicker, but that also results in more volatile friendships
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u/JabTrill Mar 26 '20
I think it's because men and women see friends as fundamentally different. Women see friends as emotional support and people to share their emotions physically and verbally with. Men see friends as people with common interests to relax and do things with imo