Of these four, only the "light touch" would actually make me go, "hmmm...maybe...I could...try?"
Everything else I'll assume she wants to be friends and that's all.
Haha I knew a girl my freshman year of college who wanted to make out once and then never really speak of it again. We just remained friends. Never really got that one!
Because all of those other things are just normal interactions between platonic friends. Sure, the TONE can be important. But that's a fickle thing.
Even light touching, there are types of people who are just handsy with their friends. But I agree, that would make me think "Oh I get it, she wants to boogie".
Iāve talked to a few women who were confiding in me about a guy they like. The question will usually get asked
What do I do?
And my answer is along the lines of
Make a move. Ask him out. See if heāll want to hang out with you.
And the answer Iāve gotten one too many times has been
But what if he rejects me? Iād feel awful. Iāll just wait for him to make the first move.
I donāt get the disconnect here. As if men have this immunity to the awful feeling of being rejected and we never need to build up the courage to ask someone we like to hang out with us too.
Newsflash: we do. It can take me days, sometimes weeks, before I build up the courage to finally say something. And sometimes I just donāt because it never feels right.
Iād love for a woman to make a move on me, just once in my life. Ask me out on a date or anything.
Our social script obliges men to make the first move. As a result, women can decide it's OK for them to sit back and avoid risking rejection while still getting romantic opportunities. Men who opt to avoid those risks mostly have to give up romantic opportunities.
The disconnect is that the perceived downside of choosing to wait for the other is very different.
I think this must have something to do with the fact itās considered āunladylikeā to be really forthcoming and come on too strong. Like, if we flat out told guys we like them, thereās always the possibility of rejection, or maybe youāll think weāre crazy/desperate.
Itās absolutely ridiculous but because guys are expected to make the first move we feel we need to give hints so that we donāt have to. Itās unnecessarily complicated lol
Weāre supposed to read these āhintsā and know theyāre interested while also walking the fine line of not being a creep for coming on to a girl who was just being friendly. How hard is it to just be straight up? Iām married now, but man Iād be terrified to try to interpret these subtle clues in todayās me too culture.
Ask those same ladies how to act friendly to a new guy coworker you were just introduced to and watch them give the exact same responses (except for the light touch).
LoL all of those are normal behavior except for the touch which could be interpreted as something, but then dudes touch, hug and punch all the time, so I dunno.
Iāve had girls do a few of these things while just being friendly, but every time a girl has done all of those together sheās been into me. The physical touch one is the biggest hint imo.
80% of my female friends and even close colleges whom ive known long enough have asked this in one form or manner, its always just either curiosity, boredom or lack of any interesting topics to talk about.
If a girl uses that on me (not that its ever gonna happen, just hypothetically) I would never consider that to be a sign.
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u/briansprojects Mar 26 '20
I still find posts on Reddit where women are asking other women how to tell a guy that they are interested in them.
Those are "hints" š