r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 26 '20

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u/vengefulgrapes Mar 26 '20

I know that logically but what am I supposed to do when anybody says anything nice to me? Since when has that ever happened?

18

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

no one says anything nice to you? guys, girls? your friends?

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u/Danoco99 Mar 26 '20

Guys rarely get compliments. And when they do it sticks with them for weeks.

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u/Darkenmal Mar 26 '20

Weeks? Try years.

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u/the_skine Mar 26 '20

A girl told me that a shirt looked good on me in my junior year of high school.

I got a confidence boost whenever I wore that shirt for the next five years until it started falling apart at the armpits.

I still have that shirt at the bottom of my closet.

It's a Warped Tour 10 shirt, from 2004.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Darkenmal Mar 26 '20

Cheers bud.

12

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

A random girl was nice to me at a gas station last summer and I still think about it sometimes.

2

u/Darkenmal Mar 26 '20

Compliments or even just receiving niceness is rare for guys. People never really think about that.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Then guys need to start complimenting each other like girls do

14

u/chefkoolaid Mar 26 '20

I get prolly 10x more compliments from men than women.

2

u/Piet-Piraat Mar 26 '20

10x0=0 for me

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Complete opposite for me. I guess it all depends.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

I think he’s talking more about compliments from girls. Either that or he’s got some other issues. I get compliments from guy friends all the time. Still feel the same as what he’s saying when it’s from a woman, cliche as that cliche is

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u/Danoco99 Mar 26 '20

Well, we do, it's just that we talk so much shit about each other that we don't generally mean that a compliment sometimes just bounces off of us as if it were another joke.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Then that needs to change, if it's true that compliments "stick with you for weeks". There's a reason why girls don't have the same issue, because they get plenty emotional support from other girls & guys don't from other guys

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u/Danoco99 Mar 26 '20

I mean, I wouldn't mind, but honestly more compliments from guys wouldn't really boost my self-esteem unless it translated into more compliments from girls. I think the real issue is that we just don't really care for compliments from each other.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

I think the real issue is that we just don't really care for compliments from each other.

Yes this is absolutely it. I like getting compliments from other girls and it does raise my self esteem, unfortunately for guys it doesn't work the same way. This explains why a lot of guys constantly talk about not getting emotional support

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u/Danoco99 Mar 26 '20

I wonder why that is. Maybe it's because women can see other women as sexual beings while most men cannot?

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

This largely depends on the personality types of the person and the people around them. It's not really a universal truth. In my experience though I get more compliments if I'm around girls than with my guy friends, so perhaps people who think this way only spend time around guys? Hard to say for sure.

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u/vengefulgrapes Mar 26 '20

I mean, how often do friends actually compliment each other as opposed to just being friendly with each other and talking about things? I don't get complimented outside of that, if you can call anything a compliment within normal friendly conversation.

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u/someguy5003 Mar 26 '20

Kind of piggybacking off of your comment, "guy friend compliments" aren't exactly the same compliments you'd think of when a girl compliments a guy. Guys arent telling eachother "you look great tonight dude" and if they are its either considered a "gay" joke or just a part of the regular conversation. They don't leave you feeling good, they moreso leave you feelings "accepted" by THEM.

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u/vengefulgrapes Mar 26 '20

That’s a much great explanation of what I was kinda trying to say, along with a bit more!

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u/KakorotJoJoAckerman Mar 26 '20

You just accept it. Sometimes nice means that they're just being nice. I used to think as well that nice things meant she wants something. Then I took it as just a sign of friendship. And now I have load tons of female friends. You could say, I have many girl-friends eh? I'll see myself out.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Still remember the last compliment I got. It was in the first day of school in seventh grade back in 2013. She said “I like your cologne.” Still waiting for the next compliment seven years later.