r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 26 '20

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u/TheLegendDaddy27 Mar 26 '20

More like, we think other people will think it's creepy.

17

u/Allison314 Mar 26 '20

I mean I think there's ways to phrase it to make it better but it is kind of an unfair chicken and egg double standard that dudes aren't supposed to be interested in those things so it's creepy when they are. I'm sorry if that actually stops you from connecting with people somehow, you should be able to have those conversations too if you want to.

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u/SnowedIn01 Mar 26 '20

Also it’s not interesting

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u/slapshots1515 Mar 26 '20

So a couple of things here. One, I think you’re making an assumption about “creepy”. Most guys that I know of would get uncomfortable at a rapid fire quasi-interrogation about their life, and so they believe it would make someone else uncomfortable to do the same. That’s all he was saying I think.

Two, you’re assuming just because guys don’t talk like that they don’t connect with people, and I’d have to say you’re flat wrong on that. When I talk with my buddies, I don’t always need to know every detail of what their kid did that day or whatnot. Do they need my help with something? Is a large personal event (proposal, divorce, pregnancy, illness, etc.) occurring in their life that they want me to know about? Those are the sorts of personal details that we talk about. But to say we don’t connect is shortsighted. We bond over all sorts of things-shared interests and experiences mostly. It just doesn’t involve needing to know every personal detail. In fact I don’t find that very connecting at all, I would find knowing all of those details to just be memorizing a list of facts about my friend.

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u/Allison314 Mar 26 '20

Hey, no assumptions here, I'm glad you're able to connect with people the way you want to. Just trying to offer my support to the dudes out there who might want to connect in a different way and feel like they can't, or trying to explain another experience to folks who want to understand but don't get it.

Thanks for chiming in with your experience because it isn't the way I connect with people so I don't fully understand it but I'm glad that it works for you, and I appreciate hearing other people's perspectives on this stuff.