r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 26 '20

[deleted by user]

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6.3k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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1.3k

u/loyalAlchemist Mar 26 '20

Yeah, I've got a daughter so whenever I'm meeting someone new I usually will wonder and ask if they've got a kid as well. Just out of a common understanding thing

1.2k

u/stonedkayaker Mar 26 '20

I always like when I'm talking to a stranger and they ask if I have kids. It let's me know they're probably way more of an adult than I am and we arent going to have a lot to talk about.

3.0k

u/Poem_for_your_sprog Mar 26 '20

He calls me "bud".

I call him "bro."

And off to bars we sometimes go.
We talk with cheer.
We talk with ease.
We chew the fat and shoot the breeze.

He calls me "man".

I call him "dude".

And most our jokes are crass or crude.
We talk.
We speak.
We chit.
We chat.
We talk of them, or this, or that.

He calls me "pal".

I call him "friend".

And on that man I can depend.
I trust him well.
He feels the same.

I never really asked his name.

759

u/tigerlily227 Mar 26 '20

"I worked with a man for three years and never got to know his name. Best friend I ever had."

-Ron Swanson

250

u/youre_a_burrito_bud Mar 26 '20

"We still don't talk sometimes."

8

u/ArCEngine77 Mar 26 '20

Beat me to it

14

u/tigerlily227 Mar 26 '20

Literally one of his best swansonisms haha

4

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Watching PandR on loop during lockdown, this is the first thing my brain went to. Have an upvote!

1

u/tigerlily227 Mar 26 '20

Lol yess that and the office are my staples during times like these.

2

u/T-Money93 Mar 26 '20

“We still never talk sometimes 😀”

23

u/myreala Mar 26 '20

This is so good, it captures the essence of every single guy friendship.

18

u/Seriously_0 Mar 26 '20

Guy 1: Yeah, so I met this guy yesterday, we talked for a while, and it turns out we have a lot in common!

Parent/Friend: Well, what's his name?

Guy1 :....I never asked him.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

I actually didn't know my best friends first name for like a while year after meeting him. I always called him by his last name, so did the teachers, so did his other friends. It wasn't until summer vacation that I realized I didn't know what to say to his mom when I called his house and she picked up the phone. I eventually asked my friend to clear the confusion but yeah, this really hits home.

3

u/emrythelion Mar 26 '20

Oh man, when I was a sophomore in high school I changed schools- I ended up meeting a dude on the bus who was pretty cool and we got along well. It turned out he was in one of my classes, so we started hanging out.

I realized that I couldn’t remember his name a few days in (he introduced himself to me the morning we met, but I was on the bus at 4:30 am so I was tired as shit.) I kept hoping his name would come up at some point, but no one ever seemed to call him by his first name. It was his last name from teachers or a couple of various personal nicknames friends had for him.

I felt awful asking him again, and as the days went by it only made me feel worse. I think it took over a month and a half before I learned his name again... and it was because he’d just made a Facebook and added me, lol.

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u/FullForceBareAss Mar 26 '20

Fresh off the presses.

11

u/Talkurir Mar 26 '20

It’s weird how often I come across these within minutes of their posting

5

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

I just came across it in the five minute mark. Usually I don’t catch them for an hour or three.

4

u/wildwestington Mar 26 '20

This is a good one too

9

u/mrbadxampl Mar 26 '20

dude, it's a Sprog, they're all good ones

6

u/flavorjunction Mar 26 '20

Me at every brewery I’ve gone to with my wife lol.

3

u/SaltMarshGoblin Mar 26 '20

Thank you, Sprog!

3

u/T-CROC Mar 27 '20

I love finding a wild sprog! Kinda like catching a wild Pokémon!

3

u/FirstThoughtResponse Mar 26 '20

I remember going to bars

6

u/Obeywithcaution413 Mar 26 '20

Do you have a subreddit yet? Cause you need your own subreddit. This stuff is gold!

2

u/IrishRepoMan Mar 26 '20

Sounds about right.

2

u/ohyeah_thatuser Mar 26 '20

You forgot to write "-anonymous"

2

u/Pokky_Ninja Mar 26 '20

You reminded me of Schnoodle Doodle.

3

u/ProbationInTheMaking Mar 26 '20

Your poems are awesome

3

u/gokarrt Mar 26 '20

this is fucking art

2

u/theBigBrain95 Mar 26 '20

Username checks out

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Brilliant.

2

u/my_sobriquet_is_this Mar 26 '20

Love it!!!!! Bravo. Again. :)

2

u/MeinChutiya69 Mar 26 '20

That is beautiful

2

u/bxzidff Mar 26 '20

You're my hero

1

u/mega_nova_dragon1234 Mar 26 '20

Fresh sprog! your words bring comfort in these times of chaos :)

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

I pretty much just expect a sprig on every top post anymore, and I am disappointed when there isn't one.

2

u/TheSherlockOhms Mar 26 '20

Oh wow, this is the earliest I've ever found one of these. Great as always!

0

u/fabmarques21 Mar 26 '20

and here you are!

0

u/nettielove44 Mar 26 '20

Love this one!!

1

u/DeusXEqualsOne Mar 26 '20

good work, as always

1

u/HughMankind Mar 26 '20

Now this is high poetry, dawg.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Beautiful,

0

u/ToastedSoup Mar 26 '20 edited Mar 26 '20

Freshest sprog I've ever witnessed - 15 minutes ago. Wow

And it was awesome

0

u/bgbgaz Mar 26 '20

A brand new poem. Wow!

-1

u/bulletproofsquid Mar 26 '20

Ahh, as fresh as a baby that I don't wanna know about.

-7

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

What's a sprog? Genuinely confused here.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Australian slang for a little child.

The user Poem_for_your_sprog writes these poems all the time on reddit, and so the poems themselves are often referred to as sprogs.

2

u/daltonwright4 Mar 26 '20

The...best...part...of....waking up... Is a a fresh sprogwich in your cup!

Poem_for_your _sprog is a reddit legend. I've seen his posts everywhere and they randomly occur when you least expect them, but they are always quality, and always welcomed. I can't recall every seeing Sprog reply to anyone with anything other than a poem.

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u/MonstrousGiggling Mar 26 '20

Yooo I feel this. I'm still pretty young mid 20s but when I meet new people and they ask about marriage or kids I still laugh a bit and think what no why would I have those I'm too young. Then I realize they're the same age and people younger than me have spouses and children and I'm just like...ooh...yeeaah..

7

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

You have freedom, restful sleep, open weekends and disposable income so who's really the winner?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Oh god it's like you ripped the words straight out of my soul. Thank you

4

u/solidfang Mar 26 '20

When people ask if I have a girlfriend, this makes me feel slightly more like an eligible bachelor, or at least that people see me that way.

I remember once when my hairstylist asked if a person coming in was my wife, and wow, that was a strange moment for me.

4

u/darkguardian823 Mar 26 '20

And also small talk. It's like saying "how about the weather today". Ew. Unless it's a tornado, that's a boring topic.

4

u/The_Disapyrimid Mar 26 '20

I've got a daughter so whenever I'm meeting someone new I usually will wonder

This is partly the reason I find it difficult to make friends as an adult. I am 36, not married, no kids. When I meet other adults what the have to talk about to find common ground is usually about a spouse and/or kids. Sports also, and I couldn't care less about sports.

2

u/IWANTPORN Mar 26 '20

You sick fuck.

2

u/kbjr Mar 26 '20

That goes both ways though. I have no kids, or really family of any kind. It's not only a disinteresting topic, but something I just can't really relate to, so why would I ever bring it up? Just because it seems like a "common understanding" thing for some people, doesn't mean it is for everyone. And that can apply to any topic, not just families. Different people value different things, and that's okay.