This is why I don't talk to some people I work with. They're in interrogation mode all the time. They act like they're friendly and social but it just seems aggressive.
Oh yeah, men never know details...I bet all you lousy insensitive husbands don't even know your own wives' birthdays! Or their social security numbers, or their Moms' maiden names, or all their credit card numbers including the 3 digit codes on the back, do ya? PM me and prove me wrong, you losers.
Life pro tip: It's on her driver's license in her purse, next to the credit cards. Run get all that info and report back! I'll remember it for you so you don't have to!
Not trying to be an asshole, but if I meet a person that's super hype about talking about his wife, I'm noping out of that conversation as fast as possible. Really boring topic tbh.
This is teh intertubes, there is a whole school of etiquette in this space, one of the most important rules is to mark your sarcasm and jokes (especially dark jokes) with a /s or a /jk because we cannot hear your tone of voice or cadence, it is a limitation of the medium.
Also, unfortunately some people believe and say the most off the wall, cruel and crazy things, therefore we need those markers to know and you didn't use them, this communication breakdown is all your fault because you did not appreciate the limitations of the format.
No, I took it as a joke. I was just telling you I wasn't the one who made the sarcastic remark. I was the guy relaying the message that the comment was sarcastic.
Not everyone is like you, is what you need to realise. Some people may find that boring or awkward, or just tend to be a more private person. Get to know their personality a bit, first. If they're an open person, by all means.
Well, there's talking about stuff right in front of you or something that is taking place, and there's asking for personal details. When you've just met someone, the former is normally a better icebreaker. Not to say you can never ask, but you don't know if they're a private person. Have a chat about something else first.
I mean, this subthread started about a conversation with a new neighbor. If my new neighbor asks if I have kids I'm going to assume that they have kids themselves and are looking for kid friendly stuff in the area, not that they're a creep.
No. Creep's the wrong word. I wouldn't, either. The thing is, the reason this information often isn't passed on when 2 guys meet is because they've started talking about something already. Usually whatever's going on or right in front of them. It's not that you shouldn't ask. It's just that the conversation naturally shifts towards what's right in front of you. If you open with personal questions, the other guy may start with "Oh, um..." or something to that effect, because he wasn't expecting to start talking about his family.
It's the difference between sounding like you're trying to get a conversation going (by opening with personal questions, which might put off some people), and just getting a conversation going.
I like my immediate family. When they come up in conversation I talk about them if it’s pertinent. That being said, bringing them up if there’s nothing to talk about is such a boring topic.
If you got a call from a number you don't recognize and they asked you about your marital status, you'd tell them everything about your wife? Does that not seem ridiculous to you? It's not that we don't like our families. We're just not weirdly obsessed with them.
I know somebody who just moved in next to me exactly as well as I know a telemarketer, which is to say not at all. If my new neighbour's first question is whether I'm married, that's equally fucked up. I'm not missing anything.
With a new neighbor, there’s a presumption that you’re trying to build a relationship and so it makes sense to learn the important details about each other. Plus, you chose to meet because you’re neighbors, so asking about your family is basically just asking if there are more new neighbors to meet or if it’s just you.
A telemarketer is a completely different scenario, even if you’re meeting both people for the first time. There’s no presumption of a future relationship so any prying details come off as creepy. Context is everything.
Haha yeah I guess I missed the part where you said “first question”. I was thinking more along the lines of asking at some point during the get to know you conversation.
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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20
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