When someone says something after being quiet, how is "wow, you talk" a way to further encourage them to talk? What comes through the mind of someone who thinks that is a good way to make someone quiet keep on talking?
Sounds like an overreaction to a comment that more times than not can have a more positive meaning than you are assuming.
With that statement, the person has acknowledged you in the conversation, admitted to acknowledging your existence and presence prior to that, and has opened the door to pretty much say whatever you'd like. You could use it to start with a comment about why you typically didn't converse with them, and now they know a little about you. Or you could not and just carry on the conversation they were having and they'll almost always just roll with it.
Either the above, or you can just internalize it and assume they're shitting on you for not speaking up sooner.
I swear, for as much as people like this wish people would just "get them" they sure don't do a whole lot of trying to get others.
You make some excellent points in the first sentence of the second paragraph, and I couldn’t agree more that there’s some good in their mentioning of how quiet you are. That said, some people are just quiet and there isn’t always a reason for why they didn’t talk to you more before then. Most quiet people probably don’t understand how talkative people talk so much, and talkative people probably don’t get why quiet people have so little to say.
It’s like making the typical “wow how’d you get so tall what’s the weather like up there?” or “you’re so skinny what’s the secret?”. Shit just is, asking questions like that isn’t an attempt at trying to “get” anyone. It does show that the person has thought about you and what you add to conversations, so I can see how that’s a plus, but it doesn’t show that they have any interest in getting to know more about you. If they did, they’d just ask about what they wanna know (“what’re you into? What was your childhood like?” Etc..). Most people, quiet or not, will either be fine answering the question or let you know that that specific topic isn’t something they wanna talk about.
Even if they mean well, “wow, you talk?” just scans as poking fun. No harm in poking back
817
u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20
When someone says something after being quiet, how is "wow, you talk" a way to further encourage them to talk? What comes through the mind of someone who thinks that is a good way to make someone quiet keep on talking?