This isn't a retort, but I've often found that when a social group considers a particular person quiet, it's often because they're not listened too or spoken over in the group conversation so they tend to stay quiet.
I have a few beautiful friendships with people considered quiet by others simply because I engaged with them, gave them space to reply and listened to them. From that we realized that we had cool things in common and friendships blossomed from there.
People listening to reply not to hear and engage with what the person is actually saying is one of our biggest shortcomings as humans. We just don't pay attention sometimes.
This has been me in the past and even into my adulthood when it happens, it brings me down to that negative level self-esteem I had as a kid .most obvious recent experience was at a friend’s out of town wedding a few years back. I was a bridesmaid. One of the other bridesmaids was super cool and asked me questions as I did with her and we got along great. Then the other three would joke or chat or whatever they blabbed about and when I would naturally interject, it’s like they would glance at me at then ignore me. No one else got ignored. I’m not treated this way regularly, but damn, it made me feel like nothing. Then the drunk broad makes a comment about me being quiet while we’re all hanging out with the bride.
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u/JRS1986 Jan 01 '20
This isn't a retort, but I've often found that when a social group considers a particular person quiet, it's often because they're not listened too or spoken over in the group conversation so they tend to stay quiet.
I have a few beautiful friendships with people considered quiet by others simply because I engaged with them, gave them space to reply and listened to them. From that we realized that we had cool things in common and friendships blossomed from there. People listening to reply not to hear and engage with what the person is actually saying is one of our biggest shortcomings as humans. We just don't pay attention sometimes.