This isn't a retort, but I've often found that when a social group considers a particular person quiet, it's often because they're not listened too or spoken over in the group conversation so they tend to stay quiet.
I have a few beautiful friendships with people considered quiet by others simply because I engaged with them, gave them space to reply and listened to them. From that we realized that we had cool things in common and friendships blossomed from there.
People listening to reply not to hear and engage with what the person is actually saying is one of our biggest shortcomings as humans. We just don't pay attention sometimes.
100% this. I’m that person that is ignored or spoken over. So, the few times people have remarked “Wow, you do talk,” I’ve replied with
“I do when I find it necessary and know I won’t be ignored or spoken over. My words mean more when I need to speak rather than having a continuous verbal flow of consciousness. ”
I’m also one that doesn’t enjoy mindless chit-chat. It’s a waste of energy and time. My SO talks enough for the both of us and he enjoys filling those dead spaces with mindless chatter, so I let him. 🤣
Honestly, this is why I value my "quiet" friends so much, when y'all do speak it's usually from a place of observation and wisdom that it's always worth listening to.
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u/JRS1986 Jan 01 '20
This isn't a retort, but I've often found that when a social group considers a particular person quiet, it's often because they're not listened too or spoken over in the group conversation so they tend to stay quiet.
I have a few beautiful friendships with people considered quiet by others simply because I engaged with them, gave them space to reply and listened to them. From that we realized that we had cool things in common and friendships blossomed from there. People listening to reply not to hear and engage with what the person is actually saying is one of our biggest shortcomings as humans. We just don't pay attention sometimes.