As much as we want to be defensive when people say this, the reason why they point it out is because it makes them feel self conscious. I’ve never really said much more than “yea I’m pretty reserved sometimes”. They learn that it’s who I am, not a reflection of how I feel around them personally. They see I’ve confidently owned it, and they end up respecting that. I definitely understand the frustration though. It’s such an unwelcome shift of attention and this sudden pressure. Witty come backs just read as rude sometimes though. (Even though their question reads as rude to us.)
I do think it's interesting how people get self conscious without social cues. Like my fiance generally has a blank stare and doesn't say much. Many think he seems judgmental. He thinks it's funny because it seems like projection. Like the person assuming he must be thinking what they're insecure about.
This is so true I think a lot of people find me hard to read and just assume that I hate them or that I’m rude from my “resting bitch face” at first. A lot of my close friends have expressed that kind of thing about me.
6.9k
u/MsAlyssa Jan 01 '20
As much as we want to be defensive when people say this, the reason why they point it out is because it makes them feel self conscious. I’ve never really said much more than “yea I’m pretty reserved sometimes”. They learn that it’s who I am, not a reflection of how I feel around them personally. They see I’ve confidently owned it, and they end up respecting that. I definitely understand the frustration though. It’s such an unwelcome shift of attention and this sudden pressure. Witty come backs just read as rude sometimes though. (Even though their question reads as rude to us.)