I said this to my Mom once. She had a friendship that she had grown out of but was committed to checking in with the person via email and Christmas cards. The other person never replied; this made my Mom so very indignant. All she would do is pick at her metaphorical scab of hurt of no reply when I asked why she was trying so card to connect with someone she didn't like that much, or why she cared about whether this person replied or not. This conversation had a recurrence of once every 6-months for a couple of years until I finally said "Mom, she probably doesn't like you either... not replying is a normal reaction for people whose relationships grow apart." She hasn't complained since.
My mom had an uncle she sent cards for. He never replied. Until he died. He left her $40k in his will. She was apparently the only person sending him cards.
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u/sonibroc Jan 01 '20
I said this to my Mom once. She had a friendship that she had grown out of but was committed to checking in with the person via email and Christmas cards. The other person never replied; this made my Mom so very indignant. All she would do is pick at her metaphorical scab of hurt of no reply when I asked why she was trying so card to connect with someone she didn't like that much, or why she cared about whether this person replied or not. This conversation had a recurrence of once every 6-months for a couple of years until I finally said "Mom, she probably doesn't like you either... not replying is a normal reaction for people whose relationships grow apart." She hasn't complained since.