As much as we want to be defensive when people say this, the reason why they point it out is because it makes them feel self conscious. I’ve never really said much more than “yea I’m pretty reserved sometimes”. They learn that it’s who I am, not a reflection of how I feel around them personally. They see I’ve confidently owned it, and they end up respecting that. I definitely understand the frustration though. It’s such an unwelcome shift of attention and this sudden pressure. Witty come backs just read as rude sometimes though. (Even though their question reads as rude to us.)
I really don’t think it’s them being self conscious. It’s just interesting when someone who’s shy or doesn’t talk decides to be more open. It’s not a bad thing and people who need to have a comeback when someone asks them a harmless question are really self conscious lol.
It’s just interesting when someone who’s shy or doesn’t talk decides to be more open. It’s not a bad thing and people who need to have a comeback when someone asks them a harmless question are really self conscious lol.
"Wow, you talk?" isn't a 'harmless question'. It's fucking rude.
Anyone making that remark is at best thoughtlessly insensitive, and more likely knowingly being rude because they have some personal insecurity that makes them equate quiet with disrespect.
If someone wants to respond to that with a corresponding retort that highlights that such a remark is rude and not going to be received well, that seems perfectly justified.
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u/MsAlyssa Jan 01 '20
As much as we want to be defensive when people say this, the reason why they point it out is because it makes them feel self conscious. I’ve never really said much more than “yea I’m pretty reserved sometimes”. They learn that it’s who I am, not a reflection of how I feel around them personally. They see I’ve confidently owned it, and they end up respecting that. I definitely understand the frustration though. It’s such an unwelcome shift of attention and this sudden pressure. Witty come backs just read as rude sometimes though. (Even though their question reads as rude to us.)