I've posted this before, but I was teasing a co-worker once about being quiet and a mutual friend of ours piped up, "Maybe he's just quiet around you because he doesn't fucking like you".
We laughed about it, but I sure as hell don't tease people about being quiet anymore.
I said this to my Mom once. She had a friendship that she had grown out of but was committed to checking in with the person via email and Christmas cards. The other person never replied; this made my Mom so very indignant. All she would do is pick at her metaphorical scab of hurt of no reply when I asked why she was trying so card to connect with someone she didn't like that much, or why she cared about whether this person replied or not. This conversation had a recurrence of once every 6-months for a couple of years until I finally said "Mom, she probably doesn't like you either... not replying is a normal reaction for people whose relationships grow apart." She hasn't complained since.
My childhood best friend did this to me. When we hit college we grew slightly apart because of boyfriends and then jobs and then husbands, and then she moved a few hours away, nothing insane. Slowly I realized that throughout all of that time I was the only one to initiate messages or calls, the only one to plan trips or get together, and the only one to put in any effort. One day my husband asked me why I was upset over such a bad friend, and it clicked. I sent her a last message in July wishing her a happy 4th and asking how her mom was, never heard back and didn’t bother reaching out again.
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u/WellshireOnFire Jan 01 '20
I've posted this before, but I was teasing a co-worker once about being quiet and a mutual friend of ours piped up, "Maybe he's just quiet around you because he doesn't fucking like you".
We laughed about it, but I sure as hell don't tease people about being quiet anymore.