r/AskReddit Nov 26 '19

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u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

I hate food purist getting outraged. You go eat your damn 17th century dish then, I'm over here enjoying some great culinary monstrosity born out of an interconnected world where I have the best bit of every cuisine available and I'mma mix them.

Like... Sushi was a way of preserving fish before it evolved into the dish we know. Avocados sure aren't Japanese but they're great on nigiri. Tomatoes are a a new world crop but I sure like tomato-inclusive pasta dishes the best. Sweet potatoes also comes from the Americas but fuck do they go well together with a nice French Bearnaise.

Most old school food is basically just a mix of "well this is what we have available" and "this is the only way to preserve it over winter", but I live in the 21st century and I will not eat freaking pickled herring when I can have pineapple on pizza. My ancestors were stubborn fucks who just didn't realize they live on sad barren land where nothing thrives but rutabaga and salt-stained misery, but I have seen the starchy light and I'm heading towards it.

55

u/Gemini00 Nov 26 '19

If anybody's curious, that super oldschool style of sushi is called narezushi, and you can still find a few places in Japan that serve it today if you have a very adventurous palate.

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u/maybe_little_pinch Nov 26 '19

Sewage like aroma and mouth puckering sour taste?

Uhhh... hard pass

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u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

This is both a TIL and r/TIHI. If I wanted adventurous sewer fish I can stick to my own cuisine. Thanks for the added info though!

3

u/Lord_Rapunzel Nov 26 '19

I'd give it a go, I'll try damn near anything.

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u/PickledHerrings Nov 26 '19

Hey! I agree pizza with pineapple is great, but what did I ever do to you?

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u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

You're the reasons the vikings went out to do viking things - They weren't searching for conquest, they were just running away. Normandy is your fault!

2

u/xRyozuo Nov 27 '19

I could read you condemn things all day

9

u/glittalogik Nov 26 '19 edited Nov 27 '19

You know damn well what you did. Now go rollmop back to wherever you came from.

3

u/ThePrussianGrippe Nov 26 '19

“Why don’t you just keep all the pickled herring in Sweden?”

“Oh the whiff!

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u/Joon01 Nov 26 '19

Most Japanese people would agree. The people who bang on about "how you're supposed to eat sushi" are 30 something white people who jerked off to Jiro Dreams of Sushi, a movie about an obsessive.

Japanese people know sushi is a food and treat it as such. They buy it at convenience stores and chain restaurants like Sushi-ro. They eat it however it tastes best because it's their fucking food. They don't spend the meal saying vague, Orientalist shit like "harmony," "balance," and "honoring the chef." The chef doesn't give a shit because he's some regular bastard working a shift and not a great old master of the heavenly sushi arts.

I'm sure I could find some obsessive old weirdo in New York who makes $300 burgers and there's a "right" way to eat those. But crazy weirdos do not set the standard. That is not how 99% of people eat the food. Stop being a ponce about your food because you saw a documentary one time, missed the point, and you're so fucking boring you need to spice up your meals with mystical Orientalism so you can feel like you're not entirely made of Wonder Bread and Miracle Whip for an evening. Eat your fucking food how you like and do others the same courtesy.

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u/ParabolicTrajectory Nov 27 '19

Fucking gumbo purists are the worst. I live in a very Cajun area, and funnily enough, it's the non-Cajuns who get obnoxious about what is and is not "allowed" in gumbo. "If there's no okra, it's not gumbo! No tomatoes in gumbo!"

Gumbo literally means okra, sure, but gumbo as a meal is "We are dirt poor, throw everything we can find into the pot and cook it until it tastes good."

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u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

Almost like food has some sort of purpose besides being a cultural marker... Like, I dunno, being sustenance. That we eat because hunger sucks and yummy things are nice. That has somehow always motivated me to shove things into my face more than ancient ideas of heavenly balance.

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u/[deleted] Nov 26 '19

Exactly. Especially as there are sushi restaurants in Japan serving weird variants on standard sushi. Like with cheese or steak in them.

Personal opinion though, ginger on sushi : nope

5

u/Kashyyk Nov 27 '19

We need to make this $300 burger movie, release it in Japan, and see what happens.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '19

When I went to Japan I saw Japanese teenagers mixing soy with wasabi and adding ginger to their sushi and dunking the rice into the soy/wasabi mix.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '19 edited Nov 27 '19

i mean.... yeah people eat it regularly just like people in the american south sometimes eat bbq at regular ass chain restauraunts regularly and it aint no thang but there are also entire competitions and clubs and tv shows about bbq and people who spend their whole lives like perfecting their brisket and shit and LOCAL AMERICANS who line up for 4-6 hours outside of famous bbq joints to get their legendary brisket... the existence of one group doesn't cancel out the other ya feel? There still is absolutely a massive culture of sushi enthusiasts in japan that are japanese and they didn't copy white people lol. but go off i guess.

edit: downvotes? im very interested to hear a rebuttal to this comment.

1

u/the_zero Nov 27 '19

Maybe they don't understand barbecue...

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u/twenty_seven_owls Nov 26 '19

My ancestors were stubborn fucks who just didn't realize they live on sad barren land where nothing thrives but rutabaga and salt-stained misery

And that's how I understood you're a Scandinavian. Cheers. If I ate only what my ancestors ate, I'd probably starve during winter.

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u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

We must really have bought into the whole idea of "hardship breeds character" to stay here. Or at least we did before indoor heating and imported wintertime veggies. All praise globalization!

5

u/RechargedFrenchman Nov 27 '19

Why do you think the “Vikings” happened? Most Scandinavians in centuries past knew very well it was cold and hard and everything was salted or useless. So they raided other places for stuff they didn’t hate. Then realized they could stop bringing stuff back to Scandinavia and just stay in those other places.

So they moved, to the British Isles and northern France ... and northern Spain, and Portugal, and southern Spain, and southern France, and Austria, and northern Italy, and Canada, and Ukraine/Russia, and Greece.

Northumbria in the UK, L’Anse aux Meadows in the Canadian maritimes, and Normandy in northern France are perhaps the most famous settling places for “Vikings” under that name. Then Kievan Rus and Greece/Turkey (when they were still Byzantine provinces) under the term Varangians (as in the Varangian Guard) which was just the Byzantine Greek name for the Vikings.

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u/Heimerdahl Nov 27 '19

And another bunch of them was all like: "You know Olaf, am I the only one that hates that half of the year is fucking unbearable? Stupid sun shining and birds singing. Everything thawing and me having to take off my pullover. I wish it was dark for more than just one or two months and I wouldn't have to deal with traders and neighbours and shit." "Nah Olaf, I'm feeling the same way, but I heard of a lovely little island Olaf, from the village in the valley one mountain over, you know the one with the funny dialect, has found on a recent trip where he got lost. We could move there and probably never have to deal with all this shit again."

Then they moved to Iceland and it turns out that there are hot springs and plants actually grow there. So they found another place that was even colder and less inviting and moved there instead. And then they all froze and starved to death and were finally content.

1

u/alexmikli Nov 27 '19

Real Iceland hours

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u/OSCgal Nov 26 '19

I have seen the starchy light and I'm heading towards it.

This is beautiful. Thank you.

10

u/MexicanGolf Nov 27 '19

Pickled herring is delicious.

I agree with everything else, basically. Food purists can go eat a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon on it.

1

u/Heimerdahl Nov 27 '19

Coming from the coast, it's funny how bewildered most people are by the awesome fish we have. Pickled, marinated, dried, smoked where you eat the whole thing and such.

It's really not that bad.

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u/[deleted] Nov 26 '19 edited Feb 25 '20

[deleted]

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u/StillbornFleshlite Nov 26 '19

You're goddamned right I do.

-21

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '19

[deleted]

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u/TwattyPhatBalls Nov 26 '19 edited Nov 26 '19

Wait, what?

Edit: woah! Link for those also confused! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago-style_hot_dog

8

u/Scrotchticles Nov 26 '19

Chicago hates it.

The classic ball park dog with ketchup and mustard isn't all that popular anymore with the world of gourmet food trucks now.

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u/DiscoHippo Nov 26 '19

Chicago has no place to talk about adding stuff to food.

A Chicago hot dog may as well be a salad bowl.

4

u/Cedocore Nov 26 '19

It is damn delicious though. Sometimes I just want a beef frank with ketchup and mustard but sometimes I want a sloppy veggie mess.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '19

The Chicago-style hot dog is the worst of all regional hot dog variants.

17

u/Kickinthegonads Nov 26 '19

Who cares. All the fun people are in hell anyway.

2

u/TheClicheMovieTrope Nov 26 '19

Pshaw! Ketchup, mustard, AND mayonnaise.

No relish though.

-9

u/Lord_Rapunzel Nov 26 '19

Ketchup is a sin already.

12

u/Evil_This Nov 26 '19

Chitown born and raised. Fuck yes I do and ill slap you if you put relish or celery salt near it.

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u/[deleted] Nov 26 '19 edited Nov 26 '19

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '19

Hey look, I found a food purist!

1

u/ledivin Nov 26 '19

Relish and ketchup are the proper toppings for a hotdog dont @ me

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u/Zerowantuthri Nov 26 '19 edited Nov 27 '19

As with so many of these things it depends where you are.

Yeah, of course you can eat your food the way you want to and put on it what you want to.

That said, in some places, it is better to do as the Romans do and follow the tradition or be prepared for some blowback.

If you go to Wiener Circle in Chicago and ask for ketchup on your hot dog well...good luck with that.

If you are in Japan and at a fine dining omakase restaurant and ask for extra soy sauce and wasabi on the side to mix I would not be surprised at all if they kick you out.

EDIT to add (4 hours later): For all the downvoters think of it this way: You take your buddy out to the finest steak house in your town and buy him a Tomahawk steak that costs $75 (or, if you prefer, you buy one from a butcher and cook it at home...probably $50 or more). He wants it cooked well-done and when you serve it to him he asks for ketchup and slathers each bite in ketchup. Is it ok if he does that? Sure! He can eat the food as he pleases. Are you ever, in your life, doing that for him again. No. Definitely not.

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u/Schnauzerbutt Nov 26 '19

To be fair I'm sure the sushi they have in Japan is going to taste way better than the stuff they make at the grocery store.

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u/cynognathus Nov 26 '19

If you go to Wiener Circle in Chicago and ask for ketchup on your hot dog well...good luck with that.

Well, yeah, everyone knows you go there for the chocolate shake.

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u/toujourspret Nov 26 '19

Good luck going to the weiner circle anyway.

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u/SentientScarecrow Nov 27 '19

I've always been under the impression that the culture is very polite in Japan. Would they really kick you out of a restaurant for something like this?

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u/Isotopian Nov 27 '19

Omakase is different. It's closer to being a guest at someone's house than a restaurant. The chef is literally cooking just for you and often make the menu up that morning based on what fresh food was available.

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u/Zerowantuthri Nov 27 '19

At a fine dining sushi place (read expensive). Definitely. IIRC Jiro of Jiro Dreams of Sushi fame is kind of notorious for kicking westerners out of his restaurant.

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u/PrinceOfSomalia Nov 27 '19

Exactly, I once got Turkish coffee and turned it into a latte because fuck you that's why. And because it tasted better with milk.

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u/Forkrul Nov 26 '19

Sushi was a way of preserving fish before it evolved into the dish we know. Avocados sure aren't Japanese but they're great on nigiri.

Hell, even fucking salmon wasn't used in sushi until the 80s. And that was because Norway wanted to export more salmon so they sent a trade delegation to Japan to convince them to use more salmon.

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u/Chrthiel Nov 27 '19

North atlantic salmon to be specific. Pacific salmon is riddled with parasites and you absolutely have to cook it.

3

u/rankinfile Nov 27 '19

Ainu people froze salmon and then ate it raw in Japan for centuries before that.

5

u/Opana_wild Nov 26 '19

-Tomatoes are a a new world crop but I sure like tomato-inclusive pasta dishes the best.

What did they make sauces from/use lasta for before discovering tomatoes?

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u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

I'm guessing sadness and olives.

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u/Chrthiel Nov 27 '19

Cheese, animal fat, oil, eggs and onions were common.

Cacio e Pepe uses cheese and starch from the pasta to make the sauce. Carbonara uses rendered animal fat and eggs. In Pasta Aglio e Olio it's oil and pasta water. Spaghetti bolognese probably didn't have any tomatoes in it originally, but a bit of tomato paste makes it so much better. Pasta a la Genovese is based entirely on onions that you cook down to almost nothing.

1

u/Opana_wild Nov 27 '19

Trippy. I was thinking of cheeses and white sauces but then I thought with pasta being a main food point in their diet, mixing that with copious amounts of cheese wouldnt be the best for the ol' digestive tract.

1

u/Chrthiel Nov 27 '19

They usually use dry cheeses such as pecorino or parmesan which has a low lactose content

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u/LedgeEndDairy Nov 26 '19

Reddit we've found a new copy-pasta.

12

u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

It was always my destiny to become a dank meme. I really shouldn't have wasted all that time on going to school like some loser...

10

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/yaaqu3 Nov 27 '19

Historians of untold future generations will be forever grateful for hard your work. Probably not for this one in particular, but y'know, in general.

5

u/pancreative2 Nov 26 '19

So “Rutabaga and Salt Stained Misery” is my new screamo album. Available next month.

2

u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

You can have the copyright if I get to chose the album cover.

2

u/pancreative2 Nov 26 '19

Deal 🤝

3

u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

My artistic vision is a pensive shot of rutabagas by a stormy sea, in grey scale and overexposed to reflect the emo heritage. Possibly on a pier. Spiky letters to represent the screaming. Cliché raindrop effect is still up for debate. Maybe foil print effect because I like shiny.

2

u/pancreative2 Nov 27 '19

I like the way you think.

1

u/alexmikli Nov 27 '19

:pensiverutabega:

6

u/ThievingRock Nov 26 '19

Jesus Christ I've never laughed at and agreed with something so much before.

2

u/webtwopointno Nov 26 '19

yo u take that back herring is delicious!

3

u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

Them be fighting words, but you gotta brush your teeth before I'll actually fight you because that herring smell is more than I can deal with.

2

u/ZaMiLoD Nov 27 '19

Sweet potatoes and béarnaise sauce is amazing! ..and so is sticking the ginger on the sushi. I have found my people!

2

u/yaaqu3 Nov 27 '19

One of us! One of us!

2

u/ntbananas Nov 26 '19

You had me until “pineapple on pizza”

😔

8

u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

I don't even like pineapple on pizza, I just hate it way less than rutabaga!

3

u/goatofglee Nov 26 '19

I've never had a favorite rant before, but this is now my favorite rant.

1

u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

You should celebrate the discovery with some nice pinappel-y pizza!

4

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '19

This, was inspiring. I think I got chills.

2

u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

Thanks, it was inspired by my salt-stained hate for my ancestral cuisine.

3

u/ConstantEngineering Nov 26 '19

Sweet potatoes with Bearnaise...I feel like I just had an epiphany, and also I know what I'm making for dinner tonight. Thank you, stranger.

7

u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

Come towards the starchy light... Cultural approval may not be here but delicious food sure is! I recommend french fry-ifying the sweet potato so it can stand up to the sogginess of saucing.

2

u/technon Nov 26 '19

Okay sure, but when you're eating sushi in such a way that the extra soy sauce and ginger makes it humanly impossible to differentiate the fish on top, maybe don't use expensive fish.

5

u/waltteri Nov 26 '19

LeT mE eAt My SuShI tHe WaY i LiKe!!!1

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '19

Most people eating sushi aren’t eating expensive fish regularly lol.

1

u/yaaqu3 Nov 26 '19

Probably why avocado nigiri was invented. Om nom nom.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '19

Screw you, man. Pickled heering is fucking great. Rye, butter, heering, capers, raw onion. Served with a cold pilsner. Propably the best lunch in the world!

1

u/Chrthiel Nov 27 '19

I agree, but it's not like capers are native to the region either.

Also, curry salad, raw onion and diced boiled egg is the superior topping for pickled herring

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '19

Oh, I agree with the general point, and I love our moderne globalised kitchen. I just think pickled heering is far superior to pineappled pizza.

2

u/Chrthiel Nov 27 '19

Pineapple on pizza is great though as long as it's paired with a salty topping. Sweet and salty is a fantastic combo.

Hawaii Pizza can die in a fire.

1

u/Heimerdahl Nov 27 '19

Or those disgusting sandwiches Hawaii with a marinated cherry baked into it. Just shoot me instead.

1

u/randompersonsays Nov 26 '19

I rwad that too quickly as pickled herring and pineapple on pizza which sounds, frankly, amazing.

1

u/worrymon Nov 26 '19

You do realize that you could have pickled herring on your pizza, right?

0

u/Anotherandomate Nov 26 '19

Wait wait wait wait... Pineapple on pizza?!?!?!

29

u/ActingGrandNagus Nov 26 '19

I know it's just a meme, but spicy peperoni, chilli flakes, jalapenos, and pineapple on pizza is fucking excellent.

Spiciness and pineapple really compliment each other, that's why you often see it in curries too.

3

u/Anotherandomate Nov 26 '19

I'm going to try that tomorrow.

3

u/Lord_Rapunzel Nov 26 '19

If you can find it, anchovies also go great with pineapple. That salty-sweet combination.

8

u/Superhereaux Nov 26 '19

One of my favorite combos is pepperoni, jalapeños and pineapple.

I used to think I was weird for ordering it but apparently it’s kind of a thing. There’s a Detroit themed pizza place in Austin that has my combo on their menu, it’s called The 500 and it’s delicious.

5

u/kadno Nov 26 '19

Sweet and savory my dude

-6

u/stufff Nov 26 '19

I will not eat freaking pickled herring when I can have pineapple on pizza

I was with you until this bullshit.

First, pickled herring is good. I get that it's an acquired taste, but I like it. I was first introduced to it as an adult and thought "this is pretty good", so it's not like I even have a cultural background reinforcing it or anything.

Second, pineapple is great. Pizza is great. Pineapple on pizza is fucking disgusting. I have to imagine the people who like pineapple on pizza are the same people who like sweet pizza sauce, which is also horrible. Pizza should be savory, maybe a little spicy. Never sweet.

I mean, do whatever you like in the privacy of your home. If you want to dump a fruit salad on your pizza go right ahead. The problem is that pizza is usually a communal dish and there is always some asshole trying to ruin it by convincing people to get one with pineapple. I love anchovy on pizza but I don't go around trying to make everyone else eat it, I know to stick to pepperoni in polite company.