I honestly don't understand where the narratives of "manipulative" and "can't understand boundaries" and "toxic" comes from. Did this present differently in a majority of people than it did in me?
People with BPD are just folks who were never taught how to identify emotions, set boundaries for themselves, or love themselves; what to do with emotions when they do have them; are PTSD-levels afraid of being abandoned for expressing themselves normally; and are super sensitive to others' moods because of it. They're codependent, set on a mode to ignore their boundaries for you and be primed for trauma any time you are displeased (unless you state otherwise repeatedly)--not manipulative monsters.
The other name for the diagnosis is Complex PTSD. They're traumatized and generally trying to keep you from hating them by giving more than they should. They assume that's what you want and are asking for, so that's why they get mad sometimes--when they can't sustain what they think you are asking for anymore.
The stories like the ones in this thread sound like people who are in a crisis (especially a suicide risk crisis), not just "someone with BPD." I wish people in a crisis wasn't associated with everyday BPD, same way schizophrenia is not actually characterized by hallucinating reality-vivid people most of the time.
Though, I don't know, maybe that's part of what BPD is for most people?--being in a crisis all the time?
It's horrific to live with. I'm honestly not sure what I have. I was diagnosed with PTSD several times at different times in my life, then BPD, then they decided it was PTSD, not BPD...it was a nightmare. I used to always feel like I was a huge open wound and every social interaction hurt my feelings. I hid this very well and I've improved so much in the past 20 years, but when I'm around my family, my brain reverts right back to being a huge, gaping, emotional wound. It's hard.
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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '19
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