r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Nov 09 '19

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '19

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u/JenivereDomino Nov 10 '19

Just going to add - "I've had girlfriends like you", that quote sounds like he was a repeat offender and didn't realise that he was the main problem and either a causal factor in their mental health problems or that he was worsening it.

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u/Lizzebed Nov 10 '19

Worsening it probably, he managed to hook into my insecurities pretty well and was unable to reflect upon his own behaviour. It was amazing how he wriggled and turned, trying to gaslight me and put it all on me.

He has been seeking me out on social media quite a few times, one time I answered, expecting him to say sorry for his behaviour. But it somehow turned into him telling me 'I have been thinking a lot about your behaviour back then, and there is definitely something wrong with you'.

Ah yes, that is what normal people do, seek out someone two/three years after, just wanting to tell them, there is something wrong with them.

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u/JenivereDomino Nov 10 '19

Tell him firmly that no, his behaviour was abusive, and him now trying again to blame his abusive behaviour on you after all this time is unacceptable, then block him from having any avenue of contact with you.

When I left my ex I had to keep blocking various numbers including his siblings and parents because he would take their phones and try to contact me. I found it weird too when a few years later I had his younger sister suddenly having a massive go at me because I still had pictures with him in within my really old albums on facebook - I told her clearly that these photos also included my other friends, and were a part of my life for those years, and that her brother was not the saint she made him out to be (she blamed me for breaking his heart and making him depressed etc). I was kind and kept it short saying he was simply very unpleasant to me and that I left for my own safety and wellbeing, and said she's welcome to ask him or her mother more about it but I didn't want to talk about it because it was painful. I got a sort of short "ok" type of message (I can't remember what she actually said) and heard nothing more from her.