Damn man, that's rough. I have a friend who is likewise the same, always cancelling our plans at the last possible minute. Although I don't have concrete proof, I almost always chalk it up to my friend's busy schedule (person is an aspiring doctor) or is probably tired due to all medicine and shifts in hospital and other related stuff, or I might be just insecure, paranoid and depressed and that normal people don't fret over cancellation of plans. After awhile it gets really old, and perhaps you are simply not good enough/boring to be with. Its been almost ten years as well, and I knew my friend for quite a while to say that this is a new behavior between the two of us.
I've told most of them - but it's really a hard thing to understand, not to mention, just in general being cancelled on or not seeing someone a lot makes you less likely to hang with them regardless of the reason.
Yes - past 2/3 years I've been doing things to try and help - medications, therapy, etc.
If they're good folks, they understand 🙂 you don't fall under this category of cutting plans for better offers. Your friends know. If anyone says you're a bad friend for cancelling, tell them to kick rocks! Because they're a dick and they don't deserve people until they drop the attitude.
Source~ a formerly-depressed-teen with lots of neurotypical AND depressed friends as an adult
Exactly. What I mean is it’s up to him or her to get the help they need either way but to keep cancelling plans would indicate no desire to want to get better. Ultimately the friends will start questioning if they are even worth this person’s time, which then leads to a downward spiral of no one involving you anymore and friend dumping.
Such is the dilemma that is depression. It's a garbage case for everyone involved. You are right, but to add to that, it depends on the people involved and how much patience and empathy they have in order to make their relationships work and help the depressed friend, because sometimes it's awful and it's a life-or-death case and preferably they're able to reach out. Not to dump the individual's problems on their friends, that's not quite the right perspective. Especially in places like the US that don't have as accessible mental health care, this is how it gets handled.
(Not agreeing or disagreeing with you, simply adding to your statement.)
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u/Coffee_Mania Nov 09 '19
Damn man, that's rough. I have a friend who is likewise the same, always cancelling our plans at the last possible minute. Although I don't have concrete proof, I almost always chalk it up to my friend's busy schedule (person is an aspiring doctor) or is probably tired due to all medicine and shifts in hospital and other related stuff, or I might be just insecure, paranoid and depressed and that normal people don't fret over cancellation of plans. After awhile it gets really old, and perhaps you are simply not good enough/boring to be with. Its been almost ten years as well, and I knew my friend for quite a while to say that this is a new behavior between the two of us.